A plea for thoughtful family travel by Pauline Frommer

Almost exactly three weeks ago, I was standing at the center of the Roman Forum with my daughters. My 6-year-old was methodically covering her arms and legs with dust from the ground (until my husband noticed, that is) and my 10-year-old was begging for her third gelato of the day.

With the sun beating down on our heads, and rivulets of sweat making interesting patterns on the kindergartener, I valiantly tried to explain the history of what we were seeing, and I peppered them with questions that I hoped would spark their imaginations. But this exercise and the intense heat just seemed to make everyone — husband included — crankier than ever. Feeling defeated, we climbed up the Capitoline Hill, barely glancing at Michelangelo’s exquisite piazza at the top, and headed off in search of more gelato.

Our visit was a total failure, I thought, until several days later on the beach in Mykonos, when I noticed that the girls were building the most incredible complex of structures. With seashells, sea glass, rocks, sticks and sand, they had shaped columns and ceremonial arches against a large hill. Yup, you guessed it: the Roman Forum. Their visit had made much more of an impression than I had realized.

I think our experience underscores the classic dilemma that parents face when choosing the type of vacation to take. We recognize that our children, who spend a good chunk of their time at school during the year, need just as much of a break as we hard-working parents do. Hey, nobody wants to think that they’re torturing their kids on vacation (which was the feeling I was getting that day in the Forum!). But with the extraordinary learning opportunities that travel affords, and the wanderlust we parents have, does it make sense with school-age children to confine vacations to the simpler destinations — beaches and amusement parks?

Obviously, I don’t think so. And though the following techniques aren’t foolproof, I think they can help ease the young ‘uns into the practice of thought-provoking, more serious travel.

1. Prepare the kids for what they’ll be seeing before the vacation starts. Your bedtime reading can be novels set in the destination you’ll be visiting, local myths, colorful age-appropriate histories, even simplified works on art history — anything to get them interested in the trip.
2. Involve the kids in the planning. If you have children over the age of 9, allow them to “program” one day of sightseeing (perhaps hand the guidebook over to them), so that they can be better invested in what you’ll be seeing. You may find yourself enjoying their picks more than the ones you thought would be most interesting.
3. Create games out of sightseeing. In a museum, head first to the gift shop and let the kids pick out four postcards each. Then lead them on a scavenger hunt, trying to find the art pieces they’ve chosen (a great way to teach them about different periods and styles in art). At great works of architecture, create contests: Who can point out and photograph the ugliest gargoyle on the cathedral? Turn your back and guess how many columns or windows the building has, and then see who was right. Use your imagination, and you’ll find there are dozens of ways to keep the kids interested in what you’re seeing.
4. Mix in downtime. A stop at a playground, carousel or other “blowing-off-steam” place will do wonders for your kids’ stamina. And so will small treats — gelato, candy, a toy out of a vending machine — you might not give them at home (OK, I’m advocating bribes, I admit it!). Try to create an itinerary that mixes heart-pumping activities with more sedate ones. In Naples, we spent the morning in the awesome Archaeological Museum, and the afternoon creeping through tunnels holding candles on a tour of subterranean Naples (a stupendous experience, spine-chilling and loaded with fascinating history). In other destinations, we’ve spent the morning sightseeing and the afternoon kicking back at the beach, renting bikes or hiking.
5. Look for tours that are specifically geared to children. In general, I think tours are a bad idea for kids; they just get too restless. But in recent years, a number of companies have tackled the family market, creating innovative itineraries designed to keep youngsters’ interest. The market leaders, for full-blown tours, seem to be Tauck Tours and Backroads. If those are too pricey (and their tours aren’t cheap), you can pick up family tours on an ad hoc basis, as we did recently in Rome. We participated in a downright spellbinding family tour of the Vatican through Context Rome, led by a young art historian who had formerly led family programs at the Getty Museum in Los Angeles and was currently in Rome to research her dissertation. To find such family-friendly walking tours in other destinations, consult a good guidebook or the local tourist board.

I’ve used all of these techniques over the years, usually with a good amount of success. I hope you’ll try them and also consider more challenging destinations with your own family. Though this may sound like a proud mom bragging, I think my daughters are the well-rounded, inquisitive and thoughtful human beings they are because they’ve had the opportunity to experience very different cultures from their own and see some of the world’s greatest natural wonders.

And I can only hope that my older daughter, who will be studying Latin next year, will find what she’s learning just a hair more interesting, knowing that she sat in the Colosseum, where gladiators once fought to the death, and that she walked in the Roman Forum, in the footsteps of the Caesars.

Really, is there any educational tool as potent as travel? I can’t think of one.

What are your tips for encouraging your kids to get the most out of a family vacation? Share your ideas with other travelers in our comments section.