Q: I have a small problem with my parents who are in their early 70s. My father wants to move to a retirement community, my mother doesn’t. I would like to help them in their decision and also bring my mother “on board.” Is there a starting point?
— B.B.
A: Dear B.B.,
The easy part is gathering information about retirement communities and asking the right questions. The difficult part is helping your parents reach a mutual decision.
Let’s begin with the easier part. Retirement communities may be called different names, which can be confusing. Here are some examples.
Over 55 communities: These communities have an age requirement and cater to the younger side of the older adult population. Typically they offer a variety of activities and amenities such as pools, golf courses, tennis courts, fitness centers and more. They also are referred to as age-qualified or age-restricted communities.
Active adult community: These communities have a minimal age and are not just for retired persons. Residents often work part or full time and remain active. Amenities often are similar to the over 55 communities. Floor plans usually have master bedrooms on the ground level, thinking ahead to possible preferences, physical limits or declines in later life. Leisure World Seal Beach is an example of an active senior community. It offers co-ops and condos for what it calls resort living. The amenities are vast: a nine-hole golf course, swimming facilities, fitness and exercise rooms, six clubhouses, free bus service and a fully staffed 24-hour gates and patrol service. It has more than 200 clubs, movies, trips and more. One of its goals is to keep its residents socially, mentally and physically active.
Master planned community: This type of community is large and has different kinds of communities within it. It may or may not be age segregated. Unusually, it has at least one area for those 55 and older. Golf courses, clubhouses and pools either are shared by the different communities or each community has its own.
Gated community: Electronic gates, gates managed by an individual or gates with an individual with patrols are typical of gated communities; some are for the 55 and older population. This added security feature usually increases the monthly homeowner’s fee.
Multigenerational community: The floor plan for these communities includes a separate unit for family or friends who want to live together but not under the same roof. The smaller units are called casitas and also can be considered as “mother-in-law apartments.” In the past, a room in one’s home often was designated for one or both parents. The casita is an alternative. In a multigenerational community all residents can stay connected yet remain as independent as possible. This type of community also has been referred to as a home within a home, according to NextGen by Lennar homes.
Golf community: Yes, this is for golf enthusiasts. In these communities, almost all destinations are golf-cart accessible. Some communities allow golf carts to be driven to adjacent shopping areas. Services typically include a pro shop, a golf pro, lessons, putting greens, driving ranges and one or more restaurants.
College-linked communities: University-linked communities are growing in number. Some have an age requirement; some offer assisted living and continuing care residences. These appeal to older adults who love lifelong learning. Residents usually can take classes, participate in sporting and cultural events and just enjoy involvement with the academic environment — that includes students.
RV communities: These communities are a place to store your RV. Some cater to older adults and snowbirds. In the U.S., almost 10 percent of those 55 and older own RVs.
Hopefully these terms help define the variety of retirement communities. The more difficult task is to have your parents arrive at a mutually beneficial decision. A possible first step is to determine why your mother prefers to age in place.
Next week we’ll address additional thoughts in getting your parents together and what to look for and ask when visiting retirement communities.
B.B., thank you for your good question. And kudos to you for wanting to be helpful to your parents.
Send email to Helen Dennis at helendenn@aol.com, or go to www.facebook.com/SuccessfulAgingCommunity.
