Work perk: Having a best friend there

Pam Oberembt laughed when she saw a question about best friends on the Sioux Falls School District's employee engagement survey.

It seemed too open for interpretation, with questionable relevance to what happens in the classroom. Maybe even a little too "middle school sounding," said Oberembt, president of the Sioux Falls district's teachers union.

"It could be taken so many different ways," Oberembt said.

But she and 2,300 other teachers and district staffers answered. On a five-point scale, they scored this statement: "I have a best friend at work."

Having a co-worker as a best friend might seem superfluous. But the question, one of 12 on the Gallup Employee Engagement Survey, is no throw-away. Phrasing — even the word "best" — is key to the survey's ability to improve workplace productivity. Behind every question on the Gallup survey is decades of research and performance data.

Scores for the "best friends" question belay a workplace culture, experts say.

Gallup's 12 questions were carefully hand-picked from thousands. The most recent version of the survey was created in 1998.

Gallup researchers hosted focus groups, bringing in people from productive workplaces and asking them why they were successful.

"One of the things that came up over time was this real strong social bond that existed among people on a highly productive team," said Jim Harter, Gallup's chief scientist for workplace management and well-being. "People would point across the table and say, 'This is one of my best friends.' "

School board members picked Gallup for the survey because of the company's track record, school board President Kent Alberty said. More than 25 million scores have been recorded by Gallup for the same 12 questions, including the one about having a best friend.

Alberty co-owns Employment Edge Staffing and Business Services, a worker placement firm. The best friend query is "pretty typical" in the human resources world, Alberty said.

"If you have a culture of trust, and if people need to collaborate, it's nice to have somebody that you consider to be kind of your best friend at work," Alberty said.

Combined, for that question, the district tallied a score of 3.47, which ranks in the bottom third of Gallup's databank of responses.

For the Sioux Falls district, it was the second-lowest score of the 12 questions, just above the question about recognition for doing good work.

Breaking "best friend" responses down by employee group:

■Teachers answered 3.57, in the 34th percentile.

■Classified staff answered 3.24, in the 11th percentile.

The scores are low enough to concern Alberty, at least enough to want to do more digging.

"If the answer is we don't have the best or the healthiest culture, then we need to take a look and say, what is it that we can improve on?" Alberty said.

Phrasing is a problem for Oberembt.

What does "I have a best friend at work" mean?

Her best friend in the world might not work for the Sioux Falls district, she said, but she has collegial working relationships with other teachers.

"In that case, I have a large group of best work friends, for lack of another word," Oberembt said.

And she knows her fellow educators feel the same. Teaching is more collaborative now than it used to be, Oberembt said. Teachers work together all of the time.

They collaborate on lesson plans. Some even go out on Friday nights or play the occasional pick-up game of basketball.

The word "best" is limiting, Oberempt said.

But it's important to the survey, Harter said.

That particular superlative was necessary to differentiate between highly productive focus groups and others. Gallup tested different versions of the question, but the word "best" worked best.

"It actually does differentiate between those really high-level (co-worker) relationships from those that might just be a little more casual," Harter said.

However, he also cautioned that Gallup does not interpret the question for survey takers, it merely considers the effectiveness of the question.

In the focus groups studied by Gallup researchers, employee teams from retail companies were more likely to be perceived by customers as offering better service if workers had a best friend, Harter said.

Kerri Tietgen looks for similar sentiment in employee groups. Tietgen is owner and president of KT Consulting Inc., a Sioux Falls-based firm that specializes in organizational development.

Having a best friend at work can improve safety, loyalty to the company and productivity, she said.

"When we have a best friend at work, all language like, 'It's not my job,' goes away," Tietgen said.

The best-friend factor can stump managers. The solution Tietgen recommends gets at the underlying importance of the survey question: "By creating a good culture that allows more relationships to be built," she said.

Improving a low best-friend score isn't about forcing friendship, Harter said.

Harter can remember a group of engineers Gallup worked with who were able to improve a low score from one year to the next by bringing in boxes of doughnuts and having regularly allotted social time.

"You can't take human nature out of people when they come to work," Harter said.

Friends from Memorial

They met in a small office in Memorial Middle School, an apparent mismatch.

Twenty years apart in age, one was an introvert and the other was outgoing.

But Kathy Fitz, 54, was the first person Erica Varcoe, 34, told about her first pregnancy. A few years later, Varcoe made Fitz godmother to her second child.

"She drew me right in," Fitz said.

They worked together for more than seven years at Memorial. Fitz was a facilitator of learning plans for the middle school's special education students. Varcoe was a behavior specialist.

But what they shared were walks through the hallways, a supportive force at work and that cozy little office. And a love for wine — a love they still share.

"I remember one of our first conversations was we like to drink wine," Varcoe said, laughing. "I don't know if you want to put that in there."

The hardest part of leaving Memorial in 2013 was leaving Fitz, Varcoe said. She now works across the street as director of children's ministry for Holy Cross Lutheran Church.

Fitz misses her friend at work. Having Varcoe there always seemed to help, Fitz said.

"You go to work with a positive attitude," Fitz said. "It just kind of helps with your productivity, I think."

- Patrick Anderson

Coaching partners

Jim Sorenson was the head boys basketball coach at Beresford High School, and Jim Babb was his assistant for around three decades. Sorenson won nearly 500 high school games over that time, and Babb was helping him out on the sidelines for a great percentage of those victories.

The pair had kids the same age, played golf together often — they still do — and spent time with each other's families. It's been a friendship that neither time nor the stress of dozens of high school basketball seasons could diminish.

"The biggest thing was that neither of us had big egos," Sorenson said. "If Jim had something to say about how we were doing things, he said it, and I listened. I don't think we ever had any kind of major disagreement."

The compatibility was not a case of being the same kind of people. To the contrary, part of the relationship thrived because they brought complementary talents to their tasks.

"Sorny was a little more laid-back than I was," Babb said, laughing. "When it was time to really get after the defense, I did it. That way he didn't have to raise his voice too much."

Babb claims he took some technical fouls over the years that, truth be told, probably should have been aimed at the head coach. Coach Sorenson also blocked his view of the action occasionally.

"Jim would be standing on the sidelines focusing on the game, and I'd be sitting on the bench, and he'd stand right in front of me — I couldn't see a thing," Babb said. "I had to pinch him in the butt to get him to move one way or the other so I could see what was going on."

They're both retired now and can say with complete confidence that this friendship has been a successful venture, both professionally and personally.

"The social part of it just fell into place," Sorenson said. "I don't think Jim ever had any designs on taking over as the head coach, so I never had the feeling that I had somebody looking over my shoulder. But he had a lot of responsibility — he was as important as I was or anyone else was as far as the success we had."

- Mick Garry

Friends from first meeting

Jamie Palmer hadn't even been hired yet, but when she showed up for an interview at Carnegie Town Hall, she clicked with a potential co-worker.

"The first time I met her was at her interview," Denise Tucker said. "I was going to hang up her coat, and I teased her that I would check her pockets for money. She said, 'Good luck. My kids have beat you to it.' So I knew she had a sense of humor."

The two women worked side by side in the Carnegie building for more than five years, never more than five feet apart, sometimes sitting only inches away from each other. Since Oct. 31, 2013, however, they've had to adjust to being in different buildings. Tucker remains at Carnegie City Hall where she is an assistant city clerk. Palmer now works in the City Hall building at Ninth Street and Dakota Avenue where she is the licensing specialist.

They talked about whether that would change their friendship.

"I worried a good minute or two whether it would change when we went from seeing each other every day to not knowing when we would see each other again," Tucker said. "But we try to go to lunch at least twice a month, and that makes things better."

It takes more effort to maintain the friendship when they sit blocks apart instead of inches away, Palmer said. But the bond they forged from Feb. 26, 2007, to Oct. 13, 2013, has stayed strong. It might be even more important to Palmer since she now works in a one-person office.

- Jill Callison

Bond carries over to life

Kathy Heylens and Tammy Loban became acquaintances by marriage — their husbands' families go way back. They became friends as co-workers in the South Dakota State University athletic department. Best friendship took time and job shifts over the course of 25 years.

For a while, Loban reported to Heylens. That ended, and they grew closer together.

Now, they go on shopping trips to Sioux Falls. Her own children grown and out of the house, Heylens cheers on Loban's two sons at sporting events. Loban was there for Heylens when her mom died, and Heylens was there for Loban when her mom died.

They talk about everything — except work.

"I just can't even tell you how neat it is to have somebody like that," said Heylens, the Jackrabbits senior associate athletic director for compliance. "I can call her any time of the day or night and ask her for something, and she'll help me with whatever it is."

- Terry Vandrovec

Friends and caretakers

Becky Heinemann was 20 years old in 1976, when she met Jane McAthie at Apple Lines, a Madison trucking company.

She couldn't have guessed at the time she'd strike up a lifelong friendship with her 42-year-old co-worker.

"I thought, 'Man, this woman is old,' " Heinemann says with a smile. "When I think back on it now, I don't see it that way at all."

"I am old enough to be her mother," McAthie said.

The two clicked, though. McAthie went out from time to time with the younger employees, but also hosted social events at her home, such as Tupperware and houseware parties.

"She was a lot of fun," Heinemann said.

The friendship grew from there and lasted long after the two left Apple Lines. Heinemann, who lost her own mother to cancer at age 4, came to see McAthie as a mother figure.

McAthie cared for Heinemann when she broke her arm while ice skating — the younger woman actually moved in. McAthie, however, calls Heinemann the generous one.

"She's always ready to help out," McAthie said. "She's always doing something for someone else."

Over time, the caretaking roles have reversed.

McAthie, who still lives in Madison, traveled "south to Sioux Falls" for an extended vacation this month, where she'll stay with Heinemann until the weather warms.

"She's always taken care of me," Heinemann said. "Now I get to take care of her."

- John Hult

Friends and entrepreneurs

A friendship that started in college led two entrepreneurs to start a business together.

Mike Hart and Ted Heeren met at South Dakota State University. They got to know each other when Heeren interned at a radio station where Hart was program director.

They founded marketing firm Fresh Produce 10 years ago and have grown the business together in downtown Sioux Falls.

"Partnering with a friend might not be a great idea for everyone, but it works for us," Heeren said, adding that the two play complementary roles. "He's great at building relationships, while my strength is in the creative work we do."

The two talk a lot, they said.

"It sounds obvious, but lack of communication kills a lot of partnerships," Heeren said. "The ability to have a tough conversation is critical, and because of our history and trust level, we're able to do that."

Hart agreed.

"It's more than just business; it's about understanding each other's goals and aspirations," he said. "We work hard to focus on our respective responsibilities at Fresh Produce and, at the same time, keep each other in the loop as it relates to the big picture."

Hart said he knows many people who have entered into partnerships with friends that haven't worked out and that it takes extra effort and commitment to ensure the venture moves forward.

"I can truly say all the challenges of owning Fresh Produce are made easier with a friend like Ted," he said.

Heeren agreed that, when done right, going into business with a friend can be a great thing. He added they have tried to build Fresh Produce as a business that allows people to love their work and love their life.

"And at the heart of it all is an authentic relationship between friends that went into business for the right reasons."

- Jodi Schwan