It’s all bad.

According to the Wall Street Journal The Sealed Air Corporation went straight for all of our childhoods and developed a new kind of bubble wrap, iBubble Wrap, that has pockets of air that don’t burst when you pinch them. Which means that it’s not bubble wrap at all. It’s a cruel, cheap imitation that makes my heart sad.

What’s more, it’ll come in a flat sheet that you’ll have to inflate yourself with a special pump.

They’ve taken the joy out of something so simple and stupid and pure, and on top of all of that, they’ve made it work.

Meaning that now, in addition to not knowing anything about Mixtape Wayne, we’ll have an entire generation of children that will never know the unbridled joy of stealing sheets of bubble wrap out of their mom’s fine china packaging and tap-dancing on them.

What could the purpose of this affront to the human experience possibly be? IS NOTHING SACRED?