Digital Life: Protecting your kids' online privacy

USA TODAY columnist Steven Petrow offers advice about digital etiquette.

Q: I'm very fortunate to have a well-behaved, friendly, and adorable baby that I can take pretty much anywhere. But because she is so friendly and smiles at everyone, strangers frequently approach her and start interacting with her, and on occasion even snapping cell phone photos of her. While it is flattering that they find her cute, I find it alarming that complete strangers would take a photo of my baby without my permission. I'm at a loss as to how to respond in these situations. Part of me really wants to grab the phone out of their hands and smash it so the photo doesn't end up on some unseemly website. I don't want to snap like a dragon mom but how do I politely protect my baby from what I consider an invasion of her privacy?

--Reasonably protective mom

A: Do you mind sending me a photo of your baby so that I can see for myself just how alluring she is? I'm teasing, of course, but I will say that variations on your question – someone posting photos of their little ones – have been the No. 1 topic of the past year. Babies, toddlers, young misses and 'tweens -- all have been victims of camera "snapping."

My first piece of advice: Please don't destroy any phones in defense of your child's privacy. That's more than an etiquette breach; it's a crime.

But seriously, your baby's digital privacy is paramount and until she has devices of her own (and even then!) it's your job to protect it – even if that means being a "dragon mom."

Here's an analogy that may be helpful. I have a cray cray Jack Russell terrier who does not socialize well with kids – and that's an understatement – but she's adorable and seems to draw toddlers to her like moths to a flame. Knowing the potential for bloodletting, I'm always on guard. I'm also ready to block and tackle any two-legged I see surging in the direction of my four-legged. Simultaneously, I use my words to ask the parent (firmly) to get a hold of their child – reminding them that it's wise to teach kids to ask permission first before they approach a dog. Sometimes, yes, I come across as abrupt – even loud.

Not that I'm comparing my dog to your baby (never!) but sometimes it's perfectly okay for you to use that same strategy. If a stranger pulls out a smart phone and sets its sights on your baby, don't be shy. Step in front of the camera and say something like: "Please don't take a photo." To get the message across loud and clear, you can add, "In the future, I'm sure all parents would appreciate your asking permission first."

Unfortunately, there are too many real cray crays in the world and you don't want any photos of your baby turning up on the web or social media sites where you don't have control of them. This same message can be delivered to friends and family members who can't stop themselves from photographing your baby's cuteness – say it with humor, but do say it: please don't post your photos anywhere without my permission.

Agree? Disagree with my advice? Let me know in the comment section.

Submit your question to Steven at stevenpetrow@earthlink.net. You can also follow Steven on Twitter: @StevenPetrow. Or like him on Facebook at facebook.com/stevenpetrow.