Dying father gets final wish to see son graduate

DOVER – Patrick Patnode dreamed of seeing his son Joshua graduate from his alma mater.

But, time was not on his side.

The 46-year-old dad was stricken with terminal lung cancer. His doctors told him he would not live to see his son receive his diploma from the Dover Union Free School District on June 27.

So Joshua Patnode asked school administrators if they could hold a small graduation ceremony early.

The ceremony was supposed to take place at the family's home last Monday, but the family got a call Saturday: Patrick, who was at Vassar Brothers Medical Center, was too sick to come home.

Patrick's daughter-in-law and Dover graduate, Amanda Finley, asked school administrators to hold a ceremony at the hospital last Sunday.

So, it was at Patrick's bedside in Vassar Brothers that high school Principal Daniel Doherty presented Joshua with his diploma in a small ceremony.

"It was amazing," said Joshua, 18. "I remember sitting in the hallway with Mr. Doherty, waiting, and thinking that stuff like this doesn't happen here. It happens in other places, not here. No one here is that caring. But it does. You just have to find it. Mr. Doherty is such a good person who is good at what he does and deserves so much credit."

Joshua's mother, brother, sister, nieces and nephews were all in attendance.

The ceremony was a tearful moment for all, Joshua said.

"It was my dad's final wish," Joshua said. "It was his dream to see his son graduate and I believe he was able to leave this world peacefully and happily because he got to see it."

Surrounded by friends and family, Patrick died a day later.

"I think all of us as staff was proud at how quickly the school responded," said Casey Swift, an art teacher. "Our principal made the decision at the drop of a hat to go and do it. We are a small, tight-knit community. I think this is why Dover is such a special place."

"Mr. Patnode was a graduate of Dover, as well, and I am so glad we were able to help him and his family," Doherty said. "He was very proud of his son and Josh was proud of the dignity and grace of his father."

Patrick worked as a head shipper at Kimberly-Clark Corporation in New Milford, Connecticut for 27 years, according to his obituary published in the Poughkeepsie Journal. He also was an avid fisher and a "lifelong fan of the Red Sox," his obituary said.

He was diagnosed on March 9 after dizziness and headaches sent him to the emergency room. A CAT scan showed a mass on his brain. Tumors were found in his lungs and other organs.

Joshua plans to attend Dutchess Community College in the fall to study automotive technology because, like his father, Joshua likes to work with his hands.

"I've always respected that Josh has strong opinions and doesn't mind expressing them. He cares a lot about the school and the community," Doherty said. "His involvement in the band and other school-related activities have added a lot to Dover. His father, too, was involved in the community and you could see how that was passed onto Josh, who has brought that same spirit to the classroom as a student."

Joshua said he will miss most the father-son fishing trip he took every year on April 1.

"It will be weird without him," he said. "We always went fishing together."

Calling hours will be held from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m. on Saturday at the Hufcut Funeral Home in Dover Plains. The family is asking everyone to wear red in honor of Patrick's favorite baseball team.

Amanda Purcell: apurcell@poughkeepsiejournal.com; 845-437-4807; Facebook.com; pojopurcell; Twitter: @amandajpurcell