When companies have a bad quarter, they often sugarcoat results with fancy language and fuzzy math. Special one-time items are a great excuse to make a loss look like a profit.
However, at National Beverage, they call a spade a spade. I think. I'm still trying to understand. …
In what may be the strangest earnings release ever, the company behind such colas as Shasta reported a 6 percent drop in revenue and a 16 percent drop in earnings for its fiscal first quarter.
"National Beverage Reports Less Than Typical Results" was the headline of the Florida company's press release.
(Read more from Jane Wells: LavCup—Why didn't I think of this?)
Then Chairman and CEO Nick Caporella weighed in. Fasten your seatbelts:
"Should we have the most credible reason for these results (and we could have), would it make a difference?" asked Nick A. Caporella, Chairman and Chief Executive Officer on a recent management call. "Does it make us feel less contrite relative to the credibility of the justification?" he queried. "There can be no allowable regrets in business or fumbles on the field (deck) of Endeavor—none ... (no one even knows how to practice them)," quipped Caporella.
I had to read that a couple times and I'm still not sure what that means, but I think he's upset and not making excuses. Kinda.
I called the company's headquarters and spoke to Grace Keene, who confirmed Caporella made these statements.