A disgruntled holidaymaker has lambasted a hotel on TripAdvisor because he wasn't able to see the nearby lake at night when everything was "in total darkness".
In what might be the oddest gripe on TripAdvisor, the man also suggested "the whole hotel is moved closer to the lake" so guests can see the water better.
The guest, known only as "Paul S", had booked a room earlier this month at the four-star Beech Hill Hotel , beside Lake Windermere, in the Lake District .
But in a bizarre post, he expressed his dismay that from his bedroom at night he was unable to see the beautiful lake because everything was pitch black.
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Instead, despite it being a protected National Park and beauty spot, he argued the whole lake should be illuminated - just like Blackpool.
Paul S then stressed if you cannot see Lake Windermere at night you should be banned from advertising yourself as a "lakeside hotel".
He wrote: "My first ever visit to Windermere and on arrival at the BH Hotel at 8pm, I was so disappointed to have found the lake to be in total darkness.
"We requested a room with lakeside view and might have well have been looking into a black void.
"I would have thought a lake as prominent as Windermere would have been illuminated and floodlit during the winter months.
"The following morning was no better as the lake was shrouded in fog. So from my experience what a waste of a trip.
"I would suggest the whole hotel is moved closer to the lake, or the local council consider flood lighting the whole lake to avoid this disappointment, and follow Blackpool's example."
The popular four-star Beech Hill Hotel, which has 57 bedrooms, sits just south of Bowness-on-Winderemere on the road to Newby Bridge.
But the winter visitor has bemoaned the fact that, unlike in London - which sees monuments like Tower Bridge illuminated at night - everything seems to be in darkness at the beauty spot.
In his post, he suggested that the "local council" should follow Blackpool's example to illuminate the lake, just like their famous promenade.
Now his two-star review has attracted the attention of the hotel's general manager, Jonathan Allan, who wrote a lengthy humorous response.
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In it, Mr Allen apologised for the darkness - and offered to get quotes on the cost of hiring machines to suck all the fog away at nighttime.
He quipped: "Even though you could have thrown a stone from your window and actually got into the water, I'm afraid that South Lakeland District Council refuse to spend the millions of pounds it would cost to 'illuminate' the whole of Windermere during the winter months.
"However, I'm prepared to raise the point with my local MP and see if this is something we could push through in the future."
He went on to say he had asked a contractor to see if he could suck all the fog off the lake, adding: "I'm not holding my breath but I'll wait to hear back."
On the issue of relocation, he added it would cost around 10 million to move but said: "Obviously we can't move it so that would be to knock it down and rebuild it.
"Again this isn't really viable as we're so close already.
"The hotel has 57 bedrooms build over 7 floors (funnily enough to maximise the Lakeview!!) so moving it really wouldn't work.
"However, I did have another idea that might help you decide if you feel you'd ever give Windermere or the Beech Hill another chance.
"Bearing in mind climate conditions, and even the issues with global warming, there is a very good chance that over the next ten or 20 years the water level within the lake itself will rise.
"Thinking about that for a moment that means the lake will actually get closer to the hotel, or the hotel gets closer to the lake! Job done."
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Yesterday it appeared Paul S had taken down his review off TripAdvisor.
Mr Allen said: "These are some of the strangest comments I've read on TripAdvisor.
"In fact it shows that people can pretty much post whatever they like and it appears on here regardless of how little sense it makes!
"I gladly welcome feedback and reviews from guests who offer genuine information that is constructive and helpful to others.
"We try to react and respond to these in a normal and professional manner that again, hopefully helps guests get an understanding of a situation or experience."