‘Billions’ Recap Reality Index: Season 3, Episode 12 (“Elmsley Count”)

The recap is back! Welcome back to the Billions Recap Reality Index. This week, we provide you with due diligence for Billions Season 3, Episode 12 (“Elmsley Count”), a tally of events that we found to be either too real to fail or as fake as a toxic asset’s triple A rating, scored on our completely subjective point system.

At long last, here we are, the big finish to Season 3! To quickly review the storylines racing to this very moment: we have the massive capital raise Axe has been planning for his fund kicked off by an investment from a sketchy Russian oligarch, his relationship with Taylor on the rocks following Axe exploiting Taylor’s personal life for some much-needed returns, Chuck continuing work digging in on his latest vendetta aimed at the US Attorney General, and wildest of all, the impending launch of Taylor Mason Capital! So yeah, it’s lit AF, to say the least.

All that’s left now is to see where the chips fall this week. Has Taylor really decided to ditch Axe and start their own shop? Will we finally see Chuck bring down our favorite mass incarceration enthusiast from Texas, or will Connerty strike first and take down Chuck showing that the protégé has become the master? Let’s crunch the numbers!

THE BILLIONS RECAP REALITY INDEX

REALER THAN A SECRET DUMPLING PLACE IN QUEENS THAT DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A NAME, JUST A DOOR

• Spartan Ives hosting a cap intro event at Citi Field is definitely believable (and cheaper than using Yankees Stadium!)
  PLUS 1
• Taylor responding to being asked about their market outlook by giving the boring standard interest rates, favorable tax environment, and growth spiel and recognizing it as the perfunctory gesture it is
  PLUS 1
• Cameo from real life billionaire and Spanx founder Sara Blakely is good for a
  PLUS 1
• When Taylor tries using the Uber was late excuse, Wags replies with, “If you’re gonna go around, go like a rich person.” Classic.
  PLUS 1
• Axe drops a reference to the Sortino ratio.
  PLUS 1
• Infuriated once they discover Taylor’s play, Axe turns to his attorney, who immediately says they’ll file for intellectual property theft.
  PLUS 1
• Ben Kim thinking Axe gave them a paper title but no salary bump as a game theory play is hilarious and so Ben Kim.
  PLUS 1

• Wags suggestion to (in more colorful terms) blacklist Taylor on the street is probably what would end up happening.
  PLUS 1
• Gregor tells Axe that he buys up multiple properties and then puts them all together for a home. This is the standard Russian Oligarch playbook in Manhattan.
  PLUS 1
• Taylor explaining to Wendy that the business isn’t about relationships or people, it’s only about money. Misanthropic Consumed by Greed Taylor is the Best Taylor, and real af.
  PLUS 1
• The US Attorney for the Southern District getting fired for being a pain in the ass #Resistance thorn in the side of the new administration is pretty much as real as it gets!
  PLUS 1
• Taylor tells Oscar they know about a secret dumpling place in Queens that doesn’t even have a name, just a door. Perfect.
  PLUS 1

TOTAL POINTS FOR REAL: PLUS 12

FAKER THAN A HEDGE FUNDER MULLING GIVING A RUSSIAN OLIGARCH THE GO AHEAD ON A HIT JOB ON A FORMER EMPLOYEE

• The Spartan Ives prime brokerage guy tells Axe there’s an unbelievable demand to invest in his fund. Sorry, but even the God Steve Cohen has managed to raise only $3 billion since being allowed to take outside money again. A relatively small amount given their pre government investigation stature.
  MINUS 2
• Axe Capital gets $6 billion in commitments in one day even though they’ve spent the past couple years getting investigated by the feds. No chance.
  MINUS 3
• While Taylor could and would fight it in court, Axe Capital would definitely have had Taylor sign a non-compete agreement which would be one of the issues they raise in litigation.
  MINUS 2

• Pissed off as he is, I have a hard time imagining Axe would choose to show up to Taylor Mason Capital where who knows what could go down rather than let the hounds of litigation hunt for him.
  MINUS 1

TOTAL POINTS FOR FAKE: MINUS 8

OVERALL SCORE FOR “ELMSLEY COUNT”: PLUS 1

OVERALL SCORE FOR BILLIONS SEASON 3: PLUS 50

Plus 4! That’s a strong finish and surprisingly good for a season finale where most shows are tempted to throw caution and reality to the wind for maximum dramatic effect! But just because the show ended up in strong positive territory doesn’t mean we didn/t get fireworks, because HOLY COW DID WE EVER GET FIREWORKS!

Taylor’s deception and backstabbing! The General pulling the old switcheroo on Chuck! And Connerty and Dake seeing their opportunity to strike and end the tyranny of Caesar! What an episode! In a surprising turn from what’s expected from season finales, we didn’t get duped into a bunch of cliffhangers, we got loose ends tied up and satisfying resolutions as well as lots to look forward to next season. Have we seen the end of Comrade Malkovich? Will Axe have his revenge on Taylor? Will Chuck strike back at the entire vast Justice Department industrial complex? And most importantly the one question I kept coming back to this episode as we finally got perspective to view Taylor’s corruption first hand- is there even a protagonist on Billions?

Is Taylor the bad guy? Is Axe the bad guy? Is Chuck the bad guy? Are they all? This season we’ve definitely been shown that characters on the show exist in shades of gray, but seeing Taylor finally unmasked as being a multidimensional character, flaws and all, rather than just a brilliant do gooder is a fascinating turn of events. The closing scene of Axe, Wendy, and Chuck sitting around a table plotting how to screw their enemies was the cherry on top of seeing Billions as a show about flawed characters addicted to wealth and power. It was a strong finish to a strong season, and as such, we maintain a buy rating on the show, and can not wait to see what is in store next season for the recap and Billions!

Comfortably Smug is a government relations professional with a focus on the financial services industry. He can be found on Twitter with his musings on all things finance and politics at @ComfortablySmug

Watch the Billions Season 3 Finale ("Elmsley Count") on Showtime Anytime