Tipu-ing the balance: A peek into notes exchanged between Tipu Sultan and George Washington

Dear George: Just read on WhatsAppa that your Continental Army has “rammed the ramparts and captured the airports”. Way to go, bro! Hope you win soon so you can spare M Lafayette. Need him here urgently. Cheers, Tipu Sultan

Dear Tipu: Yeah, capturing JFK, La Guardia, and Reagan National was a breeze. We are now heading towards Andrews Air Force Base. Sending you the latest iPad so you can get rid of that bulky Bahi Khata. Best. PS: Why do you need Lafayette? Didn’t Dupleix and de Bussy help you? George Washington

Dear George: Thanks for the iPad, pro. We just installed an indian operating system (iOS) and it’s running Excel spreadsheet and Powerpoint brilliantly. Sending you some rockets and missiles in return. Have fun. Bestest. PS: Dupleix and de Bussy are my dad’s buddies. I’d rather hang out with Lafayette. I’m told he’s good with video games and we are developing drones.

Dear Tipu: Thanks for the rockets, my friend. I like the red glare they make. Which reminds me … I am sending you some tomato and chilli seeds and saplings we recently filched from Mexico. They have the best vegetables! I believe you guys have never seen tomatoes and chillies. Enjoy! PS: Send me couple drones please! George

By George! The chilli-tomato yield was awesome and gave us an unexpected rocket fuel breakthrough. We used the mix in our rockets and the results are spectacular! We are now leaders in chem-bio warfare. Much thanks! PS: Drones are at the drawing board stage but I am happy to attach CAD drawings for your perusal. Tips

Tips dude! Those drawings are cool. You should try Powermill and Fusion 360. Btw, we have just perfected our centrifuges to enrich uranium to 95%, so we will have new fireworks. Happy to share – maybe we can sign a nuclear deal, hey? Stay safe, George

Georgie boy! We are ahead of the curve on every front. We’ve used AutoDesk Maya and Mudbox, and instead of enriched uranium, we just use a secret mix from Patanjali whose contents I am not yet in a position to disclose. Let’s Facetime one of these days for a mano-a-mano. So long! Tipper

Tipper! Gotcha, man. These tech advances are way too rapid for me. Anyway, just to let you know we got done with the siege of Yorktown, and the general we defeated, Lord Cornwallis, is being cashiered to your neck of woods. Take care. G.