Chef Missy Robbins stunned New York’s culinary world in 2013 when she stepped down from her role as executive chef at acclaimed Italian restaurants A Voce Madison and A Voce Columbus.
Behind the scenes, though, Robbins’ career was causing her health to suffer — an experience the Brooklyn resident chronicles in her new memoir-cookbook, “Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner . . . Life!” (Rizzoli, out now). Now back on the scene as chef-owner at Williamsburg hot spot Lilia, Robbins tells The Post’s Lauren Steussy how her hiatus saved her life — and imbued her cooking with a new sense of purpose.
Between 5 and 7 p.m. is when I taste the gelato at Lilia. The restaurant is busy from the moment we open the doors, and I want to make sure our two flavors are perfect before people start ordering dessert. I go to the bar and grab two shot glasses — not bowls — and fill them halfway with sample bites.
This is the new Missy.
The old Missy would have eaten a full portion of both flavors every night. Back when I logging 12- to 14-hour days at A Voce, healthy eating was usually pretty far from my mind. When hunger struck, I’d typically do a tour of the walk-in fridge and grab whatever was in there. Every so often I’d cook myself fish in an effort to be healthy, but the habit never stuck. I’d always get bored and go back to eating bread.
Back then I conducted tastings with my two chefs de cuisines every three weeks, with each giving me six to nine dishes: pasta, antipasti, meats, fish, dessert, everything. I didn’t really understand how to taste; I understood how to eat. If I liked a dish, I’d have the entire thing.
Clearly, I just wasn’t taking care of myself. How could I? I was in the grind, caught up in the routine of trying to be successful and performing at a certain level.
I was working five or six days a week. The kitchen is hot, sweaty and exhausting. I didn’t always have a set schedule. I was tired all the time. I wasn’t getting enough sleep.
Still, I loved my work and never thought I’d step back. I just couldn’t deny that my career was taking a toll on me.
I knew I was overweight. By the spring of 2013, I was up to 198 pounds. I had developed massive ankle problems, made worse from being on my feet all the time. I wasn’t breathing well. I was suffering from shoulder and back issues. I was only 42.
Toward the end of 2012, I decided it was time to move on and take a break. There was no singular moment or grand event behind the choice. It was just a feeling — something I sensed I needed to do for myself.
I gave my bosses six months’ notice, which gave me time to be more conscious about my savings and what I was spending. My goal was to be able to survive without a full-time job for up to a year. May 4, 2013, was my last day.
One of the first things I did after leaving my job was go out to lunch. It sounds like a such a simple thing, but when you’re a working chef, having a leisurely midday meal is not something you do. We spend our lunch hours cooking for other people.
This was the first time in 20 years that I was accountable to no one except myself, my family and friends. It was kind of a beautiful thing. Maybe a little self-indulgent, but beautiful.
I quickly discovered that having time off was liberating, and also a bit terrifying. On one hand, I had space to think about my own well-being, which was great.
On the other hand, I was nervous because I had left a big job where I had been performing really well. And when you disappear like that, people lose interest. It’s not like I never wanted to work again.
Still, as headhunters reached out to me, I turned them away.
“I’m not interested. I don’t want a job,” I’d say.
Instead, I tried to focus on my personal goals. One of the biggest was getting in shape. I signed up with a trainer and started doing pilates three times a week. That may seem extravagant for someone who’s unemployed and doesn’t have an income, but for me it was a priority.
It wasn’t long before I felt myself getting stronger. By early 2014, though, I still hadn’t made much progress on my other major goal: to lose weight.
A close friend, also a chef, told me I should try Weight Watchers. It was working for him, but I didn’t think it would satisfy me.
“Yeah, not gonna happen,” I told him. “I love food. Food is my life.”
“No, it’s like a points game — you’ll have fun with it,” he told me. “You’re competitive. And you can still cook great food. It forces you to be creative.”
I grudgingly agreed to sign up.
“If I don’t lose weight in two weeks, I’m quitting,” I said.
I lost 5 pounds in the first seven days.
That’s not to say it was easy right away. I had to quit eating tremendous portions of pasta and pizza and ice cream — my favorite indulgences. I focused on vegetables and fish, cutting back on the amount of fat I was cooking with. I stopped finishing all my dishes with olive oil.
I learned to reorganize the proportions of my dishes, too. Pasta with vegetables became vegetables with pasta. I came up with a semihealthy Caesar salad in which I replaced the oil and the eggs with yogurt to get the same consistency without as much fat.
Having time to shop mindfully for ingredients helped a lot. One day at the grocery store, for instance, I picked up a giant globed zucchini and asked myself, “Huh, what could I do with this thing?”
I took the zucchini home, threw it in a pot with a bunch of salt and herbs and spices and cooked it slowly in the oven until it got super-super tender. Whole roasted summer squash has since become one of my favorite dishes.
It was fun to have the head space to think about new approaches and new techniques — and not because they had to go on a restaurant menu. It was just about sitting at a table and nourishing myself.
Another lesson I learned was how helpful breakfast can be. Even if I wasn’t especially hungry in the morning, I found that breakfast kept me from becoming a binge eater at 3 p.m., when I used to be “hangry” and dying of starvation. Coming up with healthy breakfast recipes for myself was great. My favorite was spicy eggs in purgatorio.
Lilia wouldn’t be Lilia if I hadn’t taken my break. Today, I’m cooking from the heart.
After a year or so of watching my diet, I had lost about 40 pounds. I was excited about the number on the scale, but more important was how much better I felt. A lot of my health complaints just went away.
The numbers in my bank account were another story.
By the summer of 2015, my savings had dipped below my comfort level. Turns out my healthy new life was a bit more expensive than my old one. I never had to pay for three meals a day before!
It was time to get back to reality. I started consulting here and there, maintaining my healthy focus while planning my next move: opening my own restaurant.
When Lilia launched in January 2016, I was a different person from when I left A Voce.
I now know that balance for me is really important. I’ve structured Lilia so that I can have that work-life balance — and I really try to pass that on to my staff.
I’m no longer afraid to set boundaries. I’ve incorporated some non-negotiables into my schedule, such as my pilates training appointments. Unless something truly urgent comes up, that time is not available to anyone but me.
There’s no question that this made me a calmer manager. I’m a more empathetic person now, and a better listener. I’m doing this for different reasons now: All my business partner and I want is a restaurant where our team is happy, we’re cooking great food, and we’re giving great hospitality and creating a great vibe.
Food is still my happy place, and I definitely still eat pizza and pasta and ice cream — only now I do it in moderation.
Now I’m cooking food that I would want at home — just elevated for restaurant patrons. Lilia wouldn’t be Lilia if I hadn’t taken my break. Today, I’m cooking from the heart.
Eggs in purgatorio
- 2 28-oz. cans whole San Marzano tomatoes
- ½ cup olive oil
- 8 whole garlic cloves, plus 3 cloves thinly sliced
- ¼ cup tomato paste
- 1 tbsp. fennel seeds
- 1 tbsp. and 1 tsp. crushed red chili flakes
- 2 tbsp. Calabrian chili paste
- 2 tbsp. kosher salt
- 4 sprigs fresh oregano
- 8 eggs
- 2 tbsp. olive oil
- 1 sprig fresh rosemary, leaves removed
- ½ cup grated pecorino Romano
Drain tomatoes over a small bowl and reserve juice. Place tomatoes in another small bowl and use hands to break into pieces. Set bowls aside.
Warm the olive oil in a large, wide pan over medium-low heat. Add whole garlic cloves and cook until light-golden brown, about 6 minutes. Stir in the sliced garlic and saute just until fragrant, about 1 minute. Add tomato paste and cook until color deepens and oil has partially absorbed, about 4 minutes.
Stir in tomatoes, half of reserved juice, fennel seeds, 1 tablespoon chili flakes and chili paste. Discard remaining juice or save for another use. Reduce heat to low and simmer, stirring occasionally, until sauce has reduced slightly, about 45 minutes.
Stir in salt and oregano and cook 5 minutes. Remove oregano.
Gently crack the eggs, one by one, directly into the pan without overlapping.
Cover and cook on medium-low heat until egg whites are set and the yolks are still runny, 3 to 5 minutes.
To serve, use a slotted spoon to transfer two eggs each to four bowls. Spoon sauce around eggs. Season with olive oil, 1 teaspoon chili flakes, rosemary and pecorino Romano.
Serves 4.