Over The Edge: Holy DVD collection, Batman

• I recently found out the entire 1960's "Batman" series is out on DVD. Hold me back%2C Robin.
• Before I wanted to be a journalist/writer/Central Jersey Living fact-checker%2C I wanted to be Batman.
• I'm still amazed how the criminals walked around in their hideouts with them tilted at an angle.
• I have%2C fortunately or unfortunately%2C lots of Batman trivia flying around the wind tunnel of my mind

As I type this week's column, I have the 1966 "Batman: The Movie" playing in the background on the VCR (yes, I still use VHS tapes ... ).

I recently found out the entire 1960's "Batman" series, starring Adam West, Burt Ward and Yvonne Craig, is out on DVD.

Hold me back, Robin.

What can I say? I grew up watching the series every afternoon after school in the early 1970s. Before I wanted to be a journalist/writer/Central Jersey Living fact-checker, I wanted to be Batman.

But, that was way before my feet could reach the gas pedal of the Batmobile, before I realized criminals used real guns (and bullets) and before I realized my parents would have had a fit if I started to build a Batcave (or would that be Bradcave?) in the basement.

I still, however, want a secret door in my home. But, I think I'd rather have a secret elevator than the Batpoles. I can just picture me now losing my grip (it happens to me all the time with reality) and plummeting to the ground with a "Batman"-esque "SPLAT!"

I'm still amazed how the criminals were able to walk around in their hideouts with them tilted at an angle. I have enough trouble walking at a straight angle. I'd be sliding from one end of the room to the other, crashing into the window and falling to my untimely death on the sidewalk below.

I always wanted a red Batphone, but now that I'm older, I realize that would have some drawbacks. For one, the best thing to keep under a glass cake cover is a cake — preferably a chocolate one — not a phone. And, there would definitely be a problem with having the phone just go to Commissioner Gordon's office, especially when all I wanted to do was order a pizza.

Of course, in my constant struggle to get organized, I could always use a utility belt, but I'd be trying to cram in a can of Pringles where the Batshield would normally go.

The only drawback to being Batman as a superhero is he doesn't fly (at least not without the Batcopter). But, maybe that's a good thing. I'd be flying more like William Katt in "The Greatest American Hero" than Superman.

I have, fortunately or unfortunately (I'm not quite sure which), lots of Batman trivia flying around the wind tunnel of my mind, such as Catwoman's alias in "Batman: The Movie" — Kitanya Irenya Tatanya Karenska Alisoff — which I only had to look up to check the spelling.

I know. No one is more scared than I am.

What's even more scary, however, is the thought of me traipsing around town (or Gotham City) in tights. And, even worse is the thought of me attempting to scale the side of a building climbing a Batrope.

Have the Batnet, ready, Robin, because I'm either going to fall or be carted off by men in white coats.

Brad Wadlow's "Over the Edge" column appears Fridays. His "Over the Edge" blog is at mycentraljersey.com.Follow him on Twitter: @BradWadlowMyCJ.