“Come over here and check out how great I look,” my neighbor Biffle called to me.
I strolled over and duly admired. Biffle was resplendent in a crisp, jet-black tuxedo.
Very nice, Biffle, I said. What’s the monkey suit for, you got a prom date?
“Just trying it on. And take a look at this fedora. Sharp, huh? I’ve got a great gray two-piece suit to wear it with, for daytime. I’ve been practicing all day, getting the brim pulled down just right over one eye.”
Biffle, is there a reason why you’re playing dress-up?
“Getting ready for my new career. Take a guess what it is.”
Being a department-store dummy?
“No, wise guy. I’ll give you a hint: Did you see what big event is coming up over at Virginia Beach?
Virginia Beach? Well, there’s that “Viva Elvis” bash, the one where all those Elvis Presley impersonators perform.
“We like to think of ourselves as `tribute artists,’ not `impersonators’.”
Uh, Biffle, I don’t Elvis wore a tuxedo too often.
“It’s not Elvis, dumbbell. But it’s the same idea.”
So if it’s not Elvis you want to impersonate, then – wait a minute. The tux … the fedora … Biffle, you don’t mean you’re – you’re going to try to impersonate – Frank Sinatra?
“Bingo. Here, listen to my `Strangers in the Night’: Doobee, doobee doo, da da da, dee da …”
Biffle, you can’t be serious.
“Why not? Look, Elvis was a beloved singer who died, and what was the result? Bunches of guys making good money by dressing up like him and singing his songs. Now another beloved singer has died, so why shouldn’t the same thing happen?”
I don’t know, Biffle …
“I tell you, five years from now they’ll be holding `Frank Fest’ on the oceanfront, with dozens of Sinatras doing their stuff, and I’m getting in on the ground floor.”
Wait a minute …
“Too bad I’m not a skinny guy. Then I could do the Young Frankie, with the bow tie and the baggy suit with wide lapels, making the bobby soxers scream. At my age and weight, I’d be better off as Ol’ Blue Eyes, right?”
Just hold it, Biffle. There’s something I need to explain to you.
You can wear the tux, if you want. And the gray suit with the fedora pulled down over one eye.
You can sling the overcoat nonchalantly over one shoulder, the way Sinatra did.
You can sing holding a highball glass in one hand.
You can say “Ring-a-ding-ding” and “Kooky, baby” all you want.
You can sing the songs he made famous. And if you can sing them well, you will be a very entertaining performer, since they’re great songs.
But I don’t think you, or anybody else, is going to be a successful Frank Sinatra imitator, because the big thing about Sinatra was that voice of his, and it was inimitable. And not just the sound, but the feeling he put into it. Nobody else could do with a song what he did. His singing was – well, more eloquent people than me have been describing it all this past week.
So in my opinion, Biffle, I don’t think there’s going to be a big growth industry in Frank Sinatra imitations.
“Maybe you’re right. But I still say there’s money to be made in copying famous dead singers.”
I guess it just has to be the right singer.
“So tell me: You think there’s a market for Tiny Tim impersonators?”
* Tony Gabriele can be reached at 247-4786.
