Cher has but one special Christmas wish this year: “Someone step on his fuckin’ phone.” She’s talking about Donald Trump and his Twitter Tourette’s syndrome. The pop diva tweets about the president’s tweets, taking heated, unapologetic quips at the Don, at least several times a week. The social media platform, where she has 3.5 million followers, has become a form of personal therapy, a viral megaphone through which she can let out her frustrations with the state of the world. In fact, she has so much to vent that she often banks her 280-character posts. “You have no idea the amount of tweets I do that I don’t send. It just makes me feel better to say every single thing I want, but I don’t send them—I keep them on file. Maybe at some point I will,” she says. “I have a really bad temper when it comes to injustice and things that I think are just crazy.”
But Cher doesn’t want us to forget that there are some, as she calls them, “sweet and cute, smartass” comments in her feed, as well, tweets that show how spunky and truly singular she is. In fact, Twitter was the catalyst for her line of quirky holiday swag. A couple of years ago, one member of the massive “chick crew,” as Cher’s fans refer to themselves, replied to a photo of the custom gifts she made for her Las Vegas show team. The “chick” told her that she should do a line of ugly Christmas sweaters, tees, and beanies, and sell it on her website. Today, the third iteration of said merch has gone live on her site and it’s as hilarious as ever, from tote bags that say “Ho, Ho, Ho, Bitches” to “Merry Christmas” tees with a photo of Cher wearing low-slung leather pants that was taken six years ago by her friend, the Chrome Hearts cofounder Laurie Stark.
Despite her fury at the president, Cher is excited for the holidays and her merch drop. “I really have fun with it and it’s, of course, all very positive,” she said yesterday over the phone. She throws a Christmas party every year with the same “fabulous” felt elves and Santas and lights and poinsettias. “We put swag stuff all around,” Cher explains. “It just goes into that kind of insane Christmas mode that you don’t ever want to do again, but you do every year anyway.” Like all of us mere mortals, the iconic artist is clearly overwhelmed by the number of things on her holiday to-do list, but she enjoys the sense of nostalgia the season produces, nonetheless.
“My favorite tradition is hanging these stockings I made for Chaz [Bono] and Elijah [Blue Allman],” she says. “I needlepointed them one year when I was completely out of my mind. We were filming Silkwood and Meryl [Streep] was knitting a sweater for Don [her husband], which was, like, the most insane sweater because she never made one before and it looked like an octopus or something. Then I thought I should try knitting because we were so bored sitting around on set. I got a needlepointing thing and made a stocking for Chaz with this beautiful Santa Claus on it.” The problem was that once Cher brought it home, her other child, Elijah, took notice right away: “He said, ‘Where’s mine, Mom?’ and I thought, Oh Jesus, I have to knit another, so I did. I was knitting in every photo shoot, interview, anything, just to get it done in time for Christmas. I put those two stockings up every single year.”
Cher may be an expert knitter after that experience, but the Christmas craft project of wrapping and adorning presents is not something she enjoys. “I like wrapping the present I want to wrap. I don’t want to be the person wrapping all the presents. I want to wrap, like, three. And I don’t like getting presents, either; I’m kind of weird about it.” Another thing she doesn’t like these days? Instagram. “It just doesn’t appeal to me,” Cher notes when asked about why she doesn’t have the app if she’s so active on Twitter. “To me, it’s people walking their dogs or doing whatever and I’m thinking, I don’t really give a shit about this. I want to talk, I don’t want to show myself to people—I’ve been photographed enough.”
The public’s fascination goes back to her Sonny and Cher days in the ’60s, but she is as fierce and stylish as ever, evidenced by the excitement she caused back in May during the Billboard Music Awards. At 71, she took the stage wearing pink pasties, loose strands of jewels, her famous black leather jacket, and a sheer bodysuit. “I honestly didn’t expect anything to come out of it,” Cher says with a laugh. “I did it, walked out, got on a plane, and went home and didn’t think about it, but people really seemed to like it.” Referring to Diana Ross’s recent Lifetime Achievement Award at the American Music Awards, Cher adds, “She was as beautiful as ever and so full of life. I guess I understand why people get excited about us old girls when we come out onstage now.”
Cher is probably one of the most nonchalant divas to ever be given the title. She loves that young women are embracing some of the styles that she pioneered—Kendall Jenner at the 2017 Met Gala and Kim Kardashian West’s recent Halloween costume, included. “I thought Kim did a great job, I was impressed with it. It made me smile,” she says. When Cher wore that lightly beaded and feathered nude Bob Mackie gown in 1974, she remembers, “I didn’t even realize it was that sheer. Not that I would have cared for a second.” She adds, “A man came up to me at the party and said, ‘How does it feel to be walking around naked?’ I said, ‘Feels good to me!’ ”
All that being said, the new line of Cher Christmas gear isn’t exactly the kind of clothing we associate with the glamorous songstress. This is especially true of Cher’s take on ugly Christmas sweaters—crewneck jumpers that say “Cher Merry Christmas Turn Back Time” on them. “We really went out of our way to find the ugliest motifs and fonts for those sweatshirts,” she said. “We went through three designs or something. It’s hard because you want to make them as ugly as possible.”
Even with an ugly Christmas sweater on, this woman is a national treasure. And though she’s still tweeting up a storm—probably as this article is being written—she’s optimistic for the holidays and especially the new year. That is, at least, in her own awesome, Cher kind of way: “I’m so positive about him not being here next year, because he will be in jail.” Ho, ho, ho, bitches.