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Comedian Mo’Nique talks vulnerability, inequalities in Hollywood and why she won’t turn her back on Roseanne

When the stand-up comedian Mo’Nique comes to The Improv this weekend, she will be baring some of her inner flaws. “I have an outline,” she said, “but I’ve never done the same show twice in 30 years. What I’ve learned is, that stage is my therapy and I found out that my story is not unique. I’m telling you what my yesterdays were like and it allows women in the audience to realize my story isn’t any different than their stories. We’re laughing — but it’s without judgment.”

The 2010 Oscar-winner for her performance in “Precious” said she has finally found a level of comfort with being that vulnerable with an audience. “At 50, it’s so comfortable. At 35, baby? I don’t know. At 45 I was still a little insecure about my business! But at 50 — I’m half of 100, I might not get another 50, OK? So at this point I’m going to tell you my story regardless of whether it puts me in a great light or a bad light. It’s my story.”

The following is an edited transcript of the conversation.

Q: It’s sounds like your act focuses on the more challenging moments in life.

A: It’s truly my experiences, but I’ve learned to accept them and I’m not ashamed of any of them anymore. I’m not embarrassed anymore.

What I love about it is, it’s not gender specific, it’s not color specific, it’s not religion specific. It’s just us having real honest conversations on that stage.

And sometimes it gets so honest I look at the audience and say, “Did I just say that out loud?” And they’ll be like, “You sure did!” And I’ll be like, “Well, let’s roll with it then!”

Q: Do you ever have regrets after the fact that you talked about something on stage?

A: Never.

Lemme tell you something, I said one thing on stage a couple years ago at the Apollo about (“Precious” producer) Oprah Winfrey, (“Precious” director”) Lee Daniels and (“Precious” producer) Tyler Perry.

Q: About the money situation in regard to promoting “Precious”?

A: Yeah. And people say, “Do you regret saying that?” And then I pause and I say, “Hell no, I don’t regret it.” I meant every word I said.

Q: You had already spent time promoting “Precious” in the U.S. Once it was sold to a big distributor, they wanted you to go to Cannes and do additional promotion. There was a lot of money being put behind the movie for marketing, but none of that was being allocated to the actors to pay you. So in your view, you were being asked to take time off from your own schedule to promote the film for free — time that you normally would have been performing stand-up shows and earning a living.

A: That movie cost $10 million to make and it made $63 million.

I was paid $50,000. And because black actresses are so underpaid, Lee Daniels thought that was a lot of money. I’m going to quote him, in my dressing room, as we were between scenes: “I got you paid on this one.” And I said, “Lee, I say this with all humility, but that’s not money. Baby, I make that in one hour standing up on the stage doing comedy.”

In their minds, I’m a fat black woman and I should be honored that they were even calling on me. But if I’m in Cannes for even one day and I’m making you money but I’m not making me money, I cannot do that.

Q: I really appreciate that you talked about it because as audiences we don’t always know how any of this works and who gets paid for what. But professionally it had to be a big risk to come out and name it.

A: The biggest risk is me saying nothing and the woman in the mirror looking back at me saying, “You’re such a coward.” That’s the risk. When that woman looks back at me in the mirror, I want her to say, “You damn right. You damn right. Keep going.”

Q: Do you really get $50,000 for doing one night of comedy?

A: Yes, depending on the size of the theater. But I’ve made $50,000 — and more — in just one night. That’s really a low number for me. So I had to make sure he understood that. But in his mind: You know y’all don’t make no money, so $50,000 in his mind was a lot of money.

Any black woman that’s ever spoken up, they deemed her difficult or a troublemaker or crazy.

Q: A number of black actresses this past year have been talking publicly about the pay gap in Hollywood. You talked about it extensively in an interview on the syndicated radio show “The Breakfast Club.” It was interesting that you made a point of referring to host Charlamagne Tha God by his given name, Lenard.

A: Because I know that every morning he turns that button on, he’s poisoning my community. It makes me sick to my stomach. So I wasn’t trying to be funny or offensive — I’m going to call you by your name because we’re having a real conversation right now. We’re not in pretend — and that name is pretend. We’ve got to talk for real right now.

And when he calls me Donkey of the Day because I was asking for equality, are you crazy? When you hear a man say that, I had to talk to him — with love also, because I love that brother. But it’s disheartening to know that he sits behind that microphone and millions of people listen to the poison that he puts in our community.

So I’m gonna keep on speaking about the inequality in Hollywood. I have to.

Q: Let me change gears. You’re one of the few black women who has hosted a late-night talk show with “The Mo’Nique Show,” which ran for two seasons on BET starting in 2009. The network didn’t give Robin Thede’s show “The Rundown with Robin Thede” much of a run, either. Why do you think that is?

A: I can’t speak on my sister Robin. But I will say “The Mo’Nique Show” was the highest rated show in that time slot in the history of BET and it doubled the ratings for the network. Now, I can’t make that make sense. Can you?

We got picked up for a third season and then that was called back. Think about the timing of all of this and I’m going to let you put this all together.

Q: This was not long after everything went down with the “Precious” producers. You’re suggesting BET or someone else was pressured to cancel the show?

A: Aye baby, I can’t assume nothing. But I’m just telling you, think about the timing. How do you let go of a show that’s doubled the numbers for your network — with no explanation?

Q: Did you like being a talk show host? I know it can be a grind.

A: Lemme tell you something, I was having so much fun. Nina, listen to me.

Q: Because you’re a talker! You like to talk to people.

A: Das it! I’m a talker. And that’s my dream. And it’s going to come back. Can’t tell you when, can’t tell you how, but a talk show will be back. Because that was me from a little girl, watching a local show called “People Are Talking” with Oprah Winfrey and I said, “Wow, that’s what I want to do.”

Every night, every guest — we didn’t have A-list or B-list, we didn’t play that foolishness — everybody made it possible. Nicki Minaj, her first late-night talk show was who? Drake, his first late-night talk show was who? Janelle Monae, her first late-night talk show was who? We took joy and pleasure in everybody who sat on that sofa. We wanted people to feel good when they went to bed.

I hope you can feel my smile right now, it was so much fun.

That’s why, when people turned on my sister Roseanne Barr, I couldn’t do it. Because there were black entertainers who would not come on “The Mo’Nique Show” because it was quote-unquote “too black.” But when I called on my sista, she said (imitating Barr): “Where is it and what time you need me to come?”

And when she showed up, when the cameras weren’t rolling, she said to me: “Listen, you’re the real deal. Don’t let them use you up and take advantage of you, because they will. Don’t you let them do that to you.”

Now, a racist woman ain’t gonna say that to me.

Q: But her tweets were blatantly racist.

A: I’m gonna say this: We’re comedians. And I know her. And what she thought was funny, as a comedian, that’s what it was.

Q: But wait, you challenged Charlamagne because you felt he was putting poison out into the community. You could argue that Roseanne, regardless of her intentions — and I would argue that her intentions didn’t feel humorous, they felt pretty dark — was putting poison out into the world.

A: When we talked privately — and we’ve talked privately a lot — she’ll break her jokes down and I’ll know where they’re coming from. She’s like, “Listen, you know how I grew up, so how could I start making fun of anybody? I’m not trying to hurt anybody.”.

Has she ever said, “Kill black people”?

Q: I don’t think that’s the line someone has to cross in order for their words to be racist.

A: And I can’t argue with what you’re saying — I can’t, baby! But here’s what I know about this woman: She was behind the scenes fighting for the black (concert) promoters. Nobody knows that. She’s behind the scenes trying to push a documentary about Malcolm X with a brother who’s a Muslim.

So when I know about this these things personally, did my sista say some things in poor taste? Some people could say yes. But what I won’t label her is a racist. When she sends me a DM that says, “My love, we will rise again like the Phoenix” — a racist woman wouldn’t do that, would she?

Q: I think as white people we often believe we have good intentions but don’t acknowledge when we do or say things that are racist.

A: Yes! Yes, I agree. Oh my goodness — oh, this conversation is so beautiful. I agree, because I have a friend who is a white woman and we stopped being friends for almost 14 years because I said to her, “You a racist.” We got back together about a month or so ago, and the first thing when we talked, she said, “Aye, before you say anything, I want to apologize. Because I was a racist. And it was conditioned.”

So what I knew of her heart was beautiful, but her words were cutting sometimes. And I wasn’t open enough to understand, let me see your heart because all I see are your words.

So that’s where I am with it.

There are some people who are downright racist and they say, “I hate everything that ain’t white.” I get that. Then you have those — which is a lot of white people — when you really sit down and talk to them, you see their heart is good they’ve just been conditioned to be that way.

These conversations will heal us. And when people started calling me “sellout” and “you a mammy” — I’ll take those words, but when people sit down and talk to me about Roseanne, it gives me an opportunity to say who she is.

Q: Here are my takeaways. A) You are an incredibly loyal friend, and B) I have to disagree with you on this, because words have power. Especially when you have an enormous platform starring in a big ABC sitcom. Putting harmful words and ideas out there and then calling it comedy, that’s really damaging.

A: I understand it because you see her one way. That’s why I said I don’t have an argument for you — I understand it, that’s the normal feeling to have. If I didn’t know her, lemme tell you something, don’t you think I’d be sitting right next to you? If I didn’t know that woman personally, I’d be sitting right there saying, “That racist (jerk)!” But I know her personally. I know her when the cameras ain’t rolling. I know her when she gains nothing from pulling me up.

Words are powerful. And when that woman said to me, “You’re the real deal, don’t you let them use you up” — do you know how powerful that was for me?

Let me tell you something, sister. I dig you. Because this is not a journalist-entertainer conversation. This has become two sisters talking. And even when we got to a place of disagreement, we both can still keep talking. How healing is this conversation?

These are the conversations that I’ve been having with my husband in the closet for years. We do our show on our YouTube Channel, “Mo’Nique and Sidney’s Open Relationship,” and we have these kinds of conversations where he’ll say to me, “OK, after you be mad, now what? Do you forever hate? Or do you say: How do we heal?”

Q: As an aside, why do you have those conversations in your closet?

A: Baby, because (laughs) you know what? When we were living together as roommates, we were like brother and sister and we would always have these great conversations in the bathroom! Never in our rooms, never in the kitchen, it would always happen in the bathroom.

Well, the bathroom has changed over to the closet because now we’re husband and wife. I can’t explain it but it happens in this goshdang ole closet! I’m sitting in the closet right now doing this interview! I sitting here looking at a bunch of shoes that I don’t wear and it don’t make no sense that I paid all this money for them because they hurt my feet, how about that? There’s a window in the closet and when you look out you can see the sky. Isn’t that cute?

I’m a little fat girl from Baltimore, Maryland, so when I walk in I’m like, “I like it!” It’s not nothing that would be on the shows of the rich and famous. It’s one of those closets that says, “OK, he’s got his side and I got my side.”

Mo’Nique performs at the Chicago Improv in Schaumburg Friday and Saturday (8 p.m. and 10:15 p.m. both nights). For more info go to chicago.improv.com.

nmetz@chicagotribune.com

Twitter @Nina_Metz