10 years on, Steelers coach Tomlin's impact resonates on, off field

When Kiya Tomlin makes plans for family vacations, she knows the routine: three days at most, fewer if possible.

As the wife of Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin, she knows that anytime after 48 hours, her husband is ready to get back to work.

"I just can't take it," Mike Tomlin said. "That's just the way that I am wired, and thankfully so."

For Tomlin, it's all about football. It always has been, and there's no indication it will change any time soon.

"I love it (football). You have to love it," Tomlin said. "I am not saying that all coaches don't love it, but there is probably a part of me that needs it. Therein probably lies the difference."

Tomlin, 44, already has surpassed the standard timeline for most NFL head coaches.

While most burn out in the high-pressure job well before a decade, Tomlin will mark the start of his 10th year on Thursday when the Steelers report to training camp.

"It's amazing it's been that long already," quarterback Ben Roethlisberger said.

At a glance, 10 years could be dismissed as a not-yet-remarkable accomplishment, especially considering the Steelers' coaching lineage includes two previous head coaches with 23 years and 15 years of experience.

But even Tomlin's milestone is territory that not many current coaches have or will reach.

In the 95-year history of the NFL, only 7 percent of head coaches have lasted a decade. Only six were younger than Tomlin when they hit their 10th year. That list includes Hall-of-Famers George Halas, Curly Lambeau and John Madden.

"I appreciate the fact that I have had my job a length of time where I can gain a little perspective on issues," Tomlin said. "Maybe sit some fights out or have patience to let things play out. That is what experience gives you. Other than that, I don't dwell on things like that.

"I am not really a reflective guy. I always think that the greater days and challenges lie ahead."

With an approach like that, there's likely going to be many more days coaching. There's not a hint of slowdown in him. Even less of a hint of burnout.

Unlike some of the great NFL coaches who preceded him, Tomlin has very little down time in the offseason for much of anything else.

His job is an 11-plus-month labor of love that starts in February and goes through the end of the season. He takes an active approach in scouting and evaluating prospects in the offseason when it's not unusual for him to fly from one college pre-draft scouting day to another.

There's free agency, the draft, spring practices, training camp and then the season — all aspects in which Tomlin is involved. The only down time for Tomlin is late June into July, when there's that aforementioned two-day vacation. Then, it's back to work.

"It's a passion of mine, a hobby, a job, a profession of mine,'' Tomlin said. "It is a lot of things. My relationship with football is a complex one. It is easier for me to not explain it than to explain it."

Steelers running back DeAngelo Williams took a shot at trying to explain what his coach could not.

"In my opinion, he was made to coach," Williams said. "The same way he coaches the game is the same way he lives his life. I am not with him all the time or a child of his, but that's how I see it."

A godly father

There's no question that Tomlin loves football, but as he frequently says: "Football is what I do, not who I am."

A family man is what Tomlin strives to be, although it can be difficult at times with the demands of his job.

Tomlin follows that code when it comes to his life and his family.

Give him the platform, and he will talk all day about his three kids — Michael (Dino), a sophomore football player at North Catholic; Mason, born in 2002; and Harlyn, who turns 10 this year. All three are active in sports and, for the most part, their dad is there watching from the stands.

"It's funny," said Alexandra Pursglove, director of strategic planning and implementation at Urban Impact, "every year when he speaks at ManUp Pittsburgh, he's coming from one of his kids' sporting events. It's either a track meet or a basketball game or something like that."

For Tomlin, making time to be a good dad is something he takes pride in and makes a priority in his life.

Tomlin's parents split when he was about 10 months old. Tomlin has said publicly that he didn't have much of a relationship with his father. Because of his parents' breakup, he moved with his mother, older brother and younger sister into a three-bedroom house with his maternal grandparents.

Tomlin said he didn't reconnect with his father until he was 20.

Perhaps that is why today he is an advocate of being a "godly father."

Tomlin has been partnering with Urban Impact, a Christian ministry based on Pittsburgh's North Side that seeks to reach out to at-risk children and their families. Tomlin has been the keynote speaker for Urban Impact's ManUp program the past four years.

ManUp, a program started by Pastor Ed Glover, is an annual conference that encourages and teaches men to be strong, godly fathers at home and leaders in their communities.

"He (Tomlin) has such a great platform here in Pittsburgh with his role as coach of the Steelers," said Pursglove. "He comes to the event and shares about his desire to be a godly father. He has said every year at the event that football is what he does, not who he is."

Tomlin is also a member of the All-Pro Dad Team and serves as an honorary chair for the annual Extra Mile golf outing, which provides support for parochial elementary schools educating children of inner-city families.

"He encourages the men not only to prioritize their families and their kids, but also to engage with fatherless kids," Pursglove said. "He has been huge for ManUp Pittsburgh."

Communication key to success

Most, if not all, NFL coaches steer clear of their team's locker room. Not Tomlin.

In fact, it is quite common to see Tomlin mingling with those he considers his other family before and after practice.

"That's why people call him a player's coach, and I know he scoffed at that a few years ago," Roethlisberger said. "Don't be in here hanging out with us if you don't want to be. We don't mind.

"It is who he is. He just can't help himself. He is a player at heart and wants to be around the guys."

A decade ago, that was a little easier to do, when Tomlin was the same age as some of the players he coached. Tomlin was hired at 34 and coached his first season at 35.

There were a handful of players on his first roster who were only a couple of years younger than Tomlin.

Fast forward a decade: The gap between Tomlin's age and those of the players he coaches has widened considerably. Yet he has adjusted with the times.

"It is about communication, and I don't think age has anything to do with that," Tomlin said. "Age is irrelevant when it comes to coaching or instructing or communicating. It is about being a good listener and understanding and getting to know guys."

And knowing how to treat them.

There's not much difference in the way he treats an undrafted rookie or a soon-to-be Hall-of-Famer. Hines Ward — the Steelers all-time leading receiver — found that out during Tomlin's first camp.

"The one thing you respect in him as a coach was that he holds everybody accountable," said Ward, now retired at 40. "I remember me going into my 13th season, and he is like 'Hines, you can't do that.' He is calling me out in front of the team. I always respected that as a player."

Safety Mike Mitchell echoed that. He said there is never any guessing with Tomlin. Players appreciate and respect coaches who follow that approach.

"He is extremely honest," Mitchell said. "If you are messing up, he's going to tell you that you are messing up. It sucks to hear that, but at least it is the truth. If you are doing a good job, then he will tell you that you are doing a good job."

Tomlin has won 92 games and has taken the Steelers to a pair of Super Bowls. At 36, he became the youngest head coach to win a Super Bowl when the Steelers beat the Cardinals in Super Bowl XLIII.

Today, he is one of only five black head coaches in the NFL, joining the Bengals' Marvin Lewis, the Browns' Hue Jackson the Lions' Jim Caldwell and the Jets' Todd Bowles.

"He's a guy who is extremely passionate about football, and you can see that," Mitchell said. "He genuinely loves this game. He always tells us that we get paid by the win, not by the hour."

Mark Kaboly is a Tribune-Review staff writer. Reach him at mkaboly@tribweb.com or via Twitter @MarkKaboly_Trib.