In the midst of dread, the death of a family member is as painful as ever but even more complicated.
Janet Noble-Mocias of Chino buried her mother Friday morning at Rose Hills in Whittier with a tiny gathering of family members, the size limited by social distancing edicts. Told they could have only 10 mourners in the Sky Rose Chapel and 10 at the gravesite, the family tried to stretch that number by staggering their approaches and staying long distances apart.
“It’s not a good time to be departing and heading to heaven,” Noble-Mocias said through her tears.
Lilian Noble, 83, was cooking dinner in her Cerritos home on Feb. 28, and somehow she tripped and hit her head. She was discovered by her 87-year-old husband, Hugh. Lilian never regained consciousness. When she died March 11, her family began making arrangements.
The Nobles had been married 58 years and had four children, 13 grandchildren and 20 great-grandchildren.
If not for the coronavirus and state and federal mandates, Lilian’s funeral would have attracted between 75 to 100 mourners, Noble-Mocias said.
First they were told they had to limit their guests to 50. Then the number was changed to 10. They postponed Lilian’s after-funeral memorial get-together until a later date, when the coronavirus mandates have been relaxed.
“When it’s your loved one, it’s heart-breaking,” Noble-Mocias said. “But I can understand. We’re in a crisis right now.”
Relatives flew in from around the country – Texas, Oregon and North Carolina – on nearly empty planes. When they got here, they, and the rest of the Nobles, were still very conscious about keeping their distance from Hugh.
At the funeral Friday morning, Noble-Mocias said would not be able to hold back.
“I’m going to hug my daddy,” she said. “I’m just not going to breathe in his face … I just can’t help but feel sad.”
All over Southern California, the coronavirus had hit mourners, funeral homes and cemeteries hard.
“Hopefully, this thing doesn’t last too long,” said Albert Tillman, owner of Tillman Riverside Mortuary. “How do you tell a family they can’t sit with their loved one.”
At Tillman Mortuary, they are allowing small (10 people and fewer) gatherings for viewing, but the mourners are required to move quickly to and from the casket.
“They can’t just sit and stay,” Tillman said.
The McAulay and Wallace Mortuary in Fullerton has been open for 109 years. They have discounted their prices by 10 to 15 percent for some services. They are offering a live-stream service at no charge so mourners don’t have to congregate.
“We’re being as careful as imaginable,” said owner Bill McAulay. His chapel holds 150 people, but he has limited the number of mourners at any time to five.
In Long Beach at the Colonial Mortuary, they are advising people to make arrangements over the phone.
They allow one-hour viewing.
“You don’t get to socialize,” said funeral director Shirley Company. “It’s a walk-through viewing.”
So far in Long Beach and most other funeral parlors across Southern California, services have not been delayed.
“It’s the same as any other day,” Company said. “We’re not delaying. We’re just being normal.”
Each day, mortuary directors talk to each other to see what is working.
“Mortuaries are scrambling to make sense of this,” McAulay said. “Most of our customers are taking it pretty well.”
McAulay said he envisions, if the death toll rises, he will begin advising people to consider something other than viewing and traditional burial.
“I can imagine cremations will increase if this goes a long way,” he said.
It is still unclear whether the virus lives, or how long it lives, once its host body has died, said Benjamin Balderas, the general manager at Inland Consulting Service Center, which offers advice to low-income families about navigating funeral arrangements. Balderas said extra precautions will need to be taken.
He also said this is a time to watch out for price-gouging. Balderas also represents Family Funerals in San Bernardino.
“Major corporate funerals can cost $20,000 or more,” Balderas said. “This is my fear. Those (funeral) corporations are going to take advantage of people. They will use fear. People need to proceed with caution. There are some greedy people out there.”
Balderas said if the death toll rises, he could see same-day burials and cremations with coronavirus cases taking top priority.
Non-virus-related deaths, in a worst-case scenario, could be delayed.
“Some people are going to have to wait,” Balderas said. “So far, our numbers are not increasing.”
He said he is considering offering viewings of bodies in caskets covered in glass so that it would have the look of an open casket. Under glass, the bodies can be sealed and the virus contained, he said.
But it hasn’t come to that yet, he said.
