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Not long ago, I was chatting with two friends when the subject, as it almost always does, turned to LaVar Ball.
One friend works at a computer and reads about sports all day, like I do. That guy joined me in all the requisite eye-rolling and tongue-clucking that accompany discussions of LaVar Ball. The other guy works at a bar and spends far less time online. He said something that shocked me:
“Who?”
LaVar Ball, to all those uninitiated, is the loudmouthed sports dad to three basketball-playing sons: Lakers guard Lonzo, 17-year-old scoring prodigy LaMelo, and former UCLA wing LiAngelo, whose shoplifting incident during a team trip to China ended with his father publicly feuding with the actual President of the United States of America.
Despite what many say, people seem to love reading about LaVar Ball, and we cover him practically every day. I named him For The Win’s Internet Sportsperson of the Year for 2017. One time he claimed he could beat Michael Jordan in 1-on-1, a statement so absurd that it should trivialize every single thing a person says to follow it. But no matter.
LaVar’s life seems like one extended media tour, but now, with Lonzo Ball caught up in trade rumors as the NBA’s Thursday deadline approaches, the elder Ball is working the radio circuit. He wants Lonzo traded to the Phoenix Suns and he said — this is a real quote — “I am going to speak it into existence.”
I think I… love this man?
[jwplayer i7jblRqc-t2dCqACG]
LaVar Ball spoke Big Baller Brand into existence. He spoke an entire basketball league into existence. And yeah, the sneaker brand got a failing grade from the Better Business Bureau, and JBA players didn’t get paid on time, and he seems to have botched LaMelo’s college eligibility, and he has gone on TV and said some genuinely lousy and inexcusable things.
He talks an outrageously big and completely obnoxious game and has done almost nothing to show that he can back it up. And that’s kind of what makes him the perfect celebrity for our time, an era that rewards volume over value, when accountability increasingly seems like an unrealistic ideal.
This dude spoke himself into existence. And you can let that infuriate you, or you can recognize that his fame says more about us than it does about him and just enjoy the ride.
Tuesday’s big winner: Rob Gronkowski
The man was born to parade.
Greg M. Cooper-USA TODAY Sports
Quick hits: John Wall, Bryce Harper, Lindsey Vonn
– Wizards star John Wall, already out for the season following heel surgery, fell in his home and ruptured his Achilles tendon. It’s brutal news for Wall and the Wizards both. And it’s kind of a heartbreaking reminder of what the rigors of pro sports can do to even 28-year-old elite athletes. He’ll survive, obviously, so it’s not like it’s a CTE-level tragedy. But it’s brutal.
– The end of the Super Bowl marks the unofficial start of baseball season, but Bryce Harper and Manny Machado remain unsigned. You can look forward to reading more about it in future newsletters, but the bottom line is that cash-flush MLB teams are using the sport’s collective-bargaining agreement to hoodwink fans.
– Our Chris Korman looked into the Super Bowl’s ratings decline and found it to be overblown. If you read enough about TV ratings for sporting events, you’ll come away convinced that all sports are dying. They aren’t. Also: Who really cares? If you want to watch the Super Bowl, what difference does it make if you’re watching along 130 million others or 30 million others? A dip in ratings isn’t going to wipe the NFL off the map, and you’re going to be able to get your football fix for the rest of your lifetime regardless.
– Lindsey Vonn is retiring from skiing, and Michelle Martinelli wrote a lovely requiem for her career. I honestly wonder if she’ll continue skiing for fun, and if it’ll feel weird to take a nice, leisurely course down a green-circle slope, and if she’ll be tempted to take it at like 70 mph because she knows she can.
Weird sport Wednesday
I just decided right now that Wednesdays on this newsletter will be “Weird sport Wednesday,” when I briefly introduce an unfamiliar sport to help usher you down the YouTube rabbit hole. I’ll start with my favorite weird sport: Pesapällo, a Finnish variant on baseball. Pitchers stand on home plate and throw the ball straight up, and the bases are in a zig-zag formation. You can watch full matches online.
[jwplayer 94T71Roq-t2dCqACG]
