Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain’s recent suicides both made the national news for days on end. What doesn’t make the national news is that suicides have reached the crisis level in this country and are also happening locally every day in our neighborhoods. Suicide now ranks 10th as the leading cause of death in America.
I lost a son to suicide who struggled with severe bipolar disorder for 13 years. After his first attempt at suicide, and again following his second attempt, his family begged him not to ever do it again. Yet despite the extraordinary and loving efforts of his family who supported him and advocated for him, his brain was telling him he wanted to die. His third attempt was successful. He left no note. He had just turned 40 years old.
I spent some time with him three months before he took his life. He lived a very modest and almost pitiful existence. He had become unemployable. He had depleted all his savings. He was in debt and living off credit cards. He lived alone by choice and spent a lot of time sleeping. He was neglecting his personal hygiene, wore dirty clothing, and rarely took a shower.
Pre-bipolar, my son was a very successful entrepreneur, owned his own company with six employees. Thirteen years later, the brain damage associated with each psychotic break had taken its toll. He could not even handle a job as a grocery bagger at the local grocery store. Although painfully aware of the suicide statistics for bipolar, I always held out hope that my son would not become one of those statistics. Sadly, the call came that no parent ever wants to receive. His body was found by his sister.
Today, behind so many of those smiling faces we see are people like my son…suffering from depression and other mental disorders who battle suicidal thoughts 24/7. Some people reach such depths of despair and pain that they actually begin to believe that they would be better off dead. Many believe their families would be better off without them. Mental illness is cruel and embarrassing. There is stigma attached to the illness. It is not something people choose. It is not a character flaw. It is not a sign of laziness or weakness. It does not discriminate based on age, class or ethnicity. It knows no boundaries and affects all segments of society. It is, however, an illness that can be successfully treated with medication. Mental illness does not have to result in suicide.
We must acknowledge that suicide is a growing epidemic and do more to support mental health. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than half of the people who died by suicide in 2016 had a known mental health disorder at the time of death. Studies indicate that untreated severe mental illness is a significant factor contributing to the rising rates of suicide in the United States. Steps need to be taken to reverse this trend that include ensuring access to timely and effective treatment for individuals with the most severe psychiatric disorders.
Sadly, in the aftermath of well publicized celebrity losses, suicide can become contagious for those individuals already on the verge of spiraling into complete hopelessness. This is why suicide prevention groups urge the media to avoid sensationalism of the act.
Dottie Pacharis, Mental Health Advocate and Author of Mind on the Run – A Bipolar Chronicle
