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People of Sand Springs gather to remember

Reminded that tough conversations can save lives.
Sand Springs Memorial Day
Posted at 2:30 PM, May 29, 2023
and last updated 2023-05-29 18:40:39-04

SAND SPRINGS, Okla. — According to the U.S. Department of Veteran Affairs, nearly 6,000 veterans commit suicide each year. Bob Coffey, with American Legion Post 308, believes tough conversations can save lives.

“If you know that someone’s going through difficult times in their life, you have to be the one to ask those tough questions," Coffey said, "And you don’t take no for an answer. You don’t just take the easy answers. You have to keep digging.”

Tragically, Coffey lost a friend to suicide. Just a day prior, the two spoke on the phone about life. Everything seemed fine.

“Then on March 19, his wife called me, and told me, gave me the news, that he committed suicide that morning,” Coffey said.

Coffey’s friend was fighting terminal cancer. After he died, a letter came in the mail with some answers. In it, he said suicide was a better option than the financial and emotional burden of going through cancer treatments.

Juanita Zartman attended the service. She has several family members who served in the military, some hesitant to share their stories.

“As far back as I can remember, my brother-in-law would never talk about his tour in Korea. It was just an unspoken story that he could not tell.”

Coffey thinks veterans tend to put on a brave face – in that case -- he recommends persistence.

“If you just keep asking and asking and asking, you know, a veteran won’t get upset if another veteran’s asking,” Coffey said.

If you, or someone you know, is struggling with mental health issues, call the Suicide Prevention Hotline at 988.

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