Around London on 23 December 2023? Tend to leave your Christmas Day food shop till the last minute? Decidedly un-vegan? Then Smithfield's annual Christmas auction could be for you.
What is it? Every Christmas, as the sundry meat suppliers of Smithfield Market in the City of London take a break, their surplus meats are sold off to the public during a raucous meat auction. It's a tradition that spans back a century or so, and a time when the meat had to be got rid of, because there were no fridges. Greg Lawrence of G Lawrence Wholesale Meats has performed the role of auctioneer for years now (his sons help him out too), ensuring the auction goes smoothly — and that all produce is sold (trust us, it all goes quickly!).
When is the auction this year? Traditionally, the auction takes place on Christmas Eve. However, in 2023, this falls on a Sunday (when that market's always closed), so this year's auction is at 10am on Saturday 23 December 2023. Thanks to the pandemic, this is the first time the auction's happened in four years — the organisers say it's "FANTASTIC!" to be back.
Where exactly is it? Again, there's a slight change of plan this year; in more recent times, the auction has been held outside the Harts of Smithfield area of the market, but in 2023, we're told it'll be in the stunningly ornate Grand Avenue, so if it's raining (or snowing) you should be able to stay dry.
Why should I go? If you're not carnivorous, then you possibly shouldn't. Otherwise — even if you're not looking to score a hunk of bargain meat — this is a chance to witness a quirky London ritual. Yes, this is the exchanging of hunks of meat for cash, but the atmosphere is festive, the auctioneers are jovial, and a community spirit ensues, as strangers pass cash and legs of lamb back and forth to their new owners.
Any other reason? Smithfield's 150-year-old meat market is soon upping sticks to Dagenham Dock (probably in 2027 or 2028), so this is one of the last few years in which you'll be able to witness the auction in its historical setting.
What's on sale? Turkeys, sides of beef, hams and the like. The grand finale tends to see a handful of suckling pigs sold off to folks, who presumably have kitchens like the one at Hampton Court Palace.
Can I pay on card? Absolutely not! This is one of those cash-only affairs, where you're encouraged to wave tens and twenties in the air when bidding. Trust us, if you try to settle up for your gammon using Apple Pay, you'll have a few hundred people laughing at you.
Any tips on getting served?
1. Get there early! Though the auction kicks off at 10am, if you covet a prime spot, arrive at 9am.
2. Wave your notes about in the air to get the auctioneers' attention. (Don't worry if you're further back in the crowd: the auctioneers make a point of getting punters in the 'cheap seats' served.)
3. Write a sign: just as youngsters hold up placards at football matches asking for players shirts, you can write one begging for a juicy turkey.
4. Speaking of kids, if you've got one, use 'em by putting them on your shoulders, so the auctioneers clock you.
5. Btw it's not an auction as such: meat is usually sold at a fixed price; no haggling nous required here.
Any recipe tips for my meat? We did ask G Lawrence Meat Co for any of these and they replied "cook it properly". So, yeah, probably seek out a Hairy Bikers cookbook or something.
What should I do post-auction? If you've bagged yourself something, then get thee to a refrigerator! If you just came to watch, why not treat yourself to a post-auction fry up. Usually we'd recommend the Fox and Anchor's mahoosive City Breakfast, served from 7am with a pint of Guinness, although that's only on weekdays, so not available in 2023. But other establishments, like Smithfield Cafe serve fry ups over the weekend.
