Dear Annie: Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself

Dear Annie:

My only brother is 70, two years younger than me. We’ve not been close or communicating for months. I still resent his failure to acknowledge my marriage years ago. He was not present at my wedding, nor did he even send a greeting card. He missed out on all the formative years of my three children, never attending their events. He lives in Florida with his third wife with no children. I have no desire to reconnect with him and consider him a loser. What are your thoughts? Thank you for your attention to this matter — Brotherly Shove

Dear Brotherly:

Resentment about the past is only hurting you. You only have one brother. While it sounds like he made mistakes in your life, the fact that you are considering the idea of shoving him out of your life permanently shows that you have very strong feelings — feelings of anger, hurt and resentment. Try to forgive your brother for all of his wrongdoings and not be so judgmental and name-calling toward him. Everyone makes different choices. Forgiveness is a gift that you give to yourself. To quote Saint Augustine, “Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology -- featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.