Dear Abby: Being excluded by my co-workers is starting to wear me down emotionally

DEAR ABBY: Three years ago, I discovered I was being excluded by my co-workers. I have tried to not let it bother me, but it’s starting to wear me down emotionally. I work in a dental office with a staff of seven women. I have worked with two of them for almost 20 years, and I always thought we had a friendship because we would go to lunch together and occasionally do things outside of work.

Three years ago, I learned they have a group chat with two of the other women and have gotten together outside of work and didn’t include me. What bothers me most is they laugh and talk in front of me about the funny memes and videos they send each other.

I’m tired of being excluded, and I don’t understand why they have done it. We all get along, so I’m not sure why this is happening. Any advice on what I should say or do? -- APART IN ILLINOIS

DEAR APART: Folks are entitled to socialize (or not) with anyone they would like after work. However, to treat you the way they have been seems insensitive, bordering on rude, and you have every right to say so the next time it happens. It may lead to a “difficult” discussion, but you have a right to tell them how it affects you. Do not depend upon your co-workers to be personal friends, which may not be possible. I encourage you to cultivate social relationships outside the office from now on.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.