Late-night hosts discussed Donald Trump’s suspicious sale of his ailing Truth Social network and why he’s annoyed about something again.
Stephen Colbert
On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert started with a surprise: “Breaking news: Donald Trump is upset about something.”
The host brought up the former president’s latest gripe, that he’s being mistakenly painted by Democrats as someone who wants to destroy ObamaCare, something he has previously run on, recently saying he wanted to “totally kill” it.
His opponents, who want to keep it, believe in the “radical political theory that people like staying alive”, Colbert said.
This week has also seen his social media network Truth Social go public and head for a merger allowing for Trump to regain a $4bn net worth, which would make him one of the world’s 500 richest people. “He made $4bn misspelling things on the toilet,” Colbert said.
Trump’s people have estimated the overall worth as $13bn which has been described as a number “untethered to reality” given how the company lost $49m in its first nine months of 2023. “Trump sells something that does terribly yet it makes him billions,” he said.
Colbert said there was an “alluring whiff of corruption” to the whole thing.
This week, he also claimed that someone compared him to Jesus Christ to which Colbert quipped that he is in many ways as he is also a brilliant capitalist with Dead Sea properties who sold golden sandals.
“Speaking of people who are divorced from reality,” he said before bringing up the controversial independent presidential candidate Robert F Kennedy Jr, who Democrats believe is taking votes away from Biden.
Colbert said he “could use some big-name help to boost his campaign” and after teasing bigger names, he has now announced a running mate Nicole Shanahan, a star of far lower wattage.
He explains that the reason is that she’s a “major campaign donor” who helped fund his Super Bowl ad.
The Democratic strategist James Carville has also come under fire for blaming his party’s problems on “too many preachy females”.
He said the messaging was too feminine around saving the planet and needing to “eat your peas” which Colbert said was “suspiciously specific to James Carville”.
Seth Meyers
On Late Night, Seth Meyers spoke about Trump’s hush money trial getting an April date which means jury selection starts soon. “Good luck finding 12 unbiased New Yorkers,” he joked. Meyers added that “he couldn’t be more hated if he showed up in Sox gear”.
This week Trump also urged Israel to end the war in Gaza. “It’s just weird when Trump has the same position as Bernie Sanders,” he said.
The former supreme court justice Stephen Breyer warned this week that the current justices were moving away from the constitution’s values. “To be fair, the founding fathers could not have predicted luxury yachts,” Meyers joked while showing a picture of Clarence Thomas.
The IRS has estimated that about one million people didn’t file taxes for 2020. “I would have but if I remember 2020 correctly, my kid was using our printer to do kindergarten,” he said.