What's holding you back from chasing your highest goals? For many people, the answer is a lack of confidence. As people, we're very good at creating seemingly rational reasons not to do things that we're scared of or that make us uncomfortable, so we create narratives that allow us to avoid facing our own lack of confidence. Maybe you tell yourself that you'll get to it eventually but now is just not the right time, or that you'll start working on something when you've built enough skill or resources to achieve it without struggle.
Most people struggle with confidence at some point in their lives. After all, nobody can be good at everything. But it's a lack of confidence that often prevents us from taking steps to achieve our goals. So how do you go about building confidence?
1. Celebrate Your Accomplishments
Many leaders and entrepreneurs I know are extremely goal-oriented, to the point where they often forget to stop and celebrate what they've accomplished because they're already focused on achieving the next thing on the list.
However, acknowledging your own successes is crucial to building your confidence. It can help you create a positive mindset and understand your own skills and value. No matter where you are in your career or where you're going, you've certainly accomplished things you should be proud of. Don't forget about those—stop to celebrate them and remember them when you're feeling uncertain about your abilities.
So what does it look like to celebrate your accomplishments? You don't have to throw a party whenever you achieve a goal. The celebration should be appropriate to what you've accomplished—smaller celebrations for small goals and bigger ones for big goals. But I think the most important thing is to share what you've done with others, even if that's just telling your spouse or someone else who cares about you what you're proud of having achieved. Having your happiness reflected back at you through someone else can validate it in a way that celebrating alone cannot.
2. Avoid Comparison
Comparison is one of the most powerful ways to undermine your confidence, and the reality is that it's incredibly hard to be objective when you're comparing yourself to others. While you may see someone doing something you think is far beyond what you could achieve, others may see what you've done and think the same thing about themselves.
Avoiding comparison can be difficult, but one of the best ways to start is to limit your time on social media—or avoid it altogether if you can. Social media is known to reduce self-esteem because of comparisons and the unrealistic expectations it creates.
It's also helpful to focus on your appreciation for others and their accomplishments. Doing so can create a mindset of positivity because if you practice extending appreciation to others, it's easier to do so for yourself. And by celebrating what others have achieved, you can remove the focus from comparing yourself to them and create an environment of positivity and support in its place.
3. Change Negative Self-Perceptions
We all have stories we tell ourselves about what we are and aren't good at, and sometimes these beliefs can be extremely limiting because they keep us from trying new things, challenging ourselves, and developing new skills.
When you feel insecure or uncomfortable with something, examine what self-perception is behind that. Why do you feel you might not be capable? Is that feeling or belief true? Think about reframing that belief in a more positive way. Rather than telling yourself, "I'm not good at that, so I shouldn't try," say something like, "I haven't developed that skill yet, but I know I can improve if I put the effort in."
4. Grow Your Humility
Humility is the opposite of ego, and it's one of the greatest skills for building confidence. Practice humility by learning to laugh at yourself and adopt a less serious mindset. We all mess up, and being able to laugh at yourself when you fail can give you the resilience to push through failure in order to learn and grow.
If you're able to laugh at yourself, people aren't going to think you look silly—you'll look more confident, even when you're failing, than if you hadn't tried in the first place. For example, let's say someone invited you to a dance class. Which is more embarrassing: standing in the corner and refusing to participate because you're afraid of looking foolish or getting out on the dance floor, messing up, and laughing about it while you learn a new skill?
Don't let the fear of vulnerability, failure, or looking silly get in the way of growing. If you don't take yourself too seriously, you can feel much more confident in trying new things.
5. Step Outside Your Comfort Zone
Perhaps the most powerful way to grow your confidence is simply to stretch yourself. The easiest thing is to only do things you're comfortable with, things you know you'll succeed at. But when you don't challenge yourself, you give in to your fears and allow them to shape your life.
In order to build confidence, you must do things you don't feel confident doing. Yes, you may fail. It will be uncomfortable. It might even be scary. But every time you do something uncomfortable or something you're afraid of doing, you can build a little more confidence by proving to yourself that you can do it, whether you succeed or fail. And the more often you do fail, the better you can learn to weather failure.
Final Thoughts
Don't let a lack of confidence keep you from reaching your highest goals. You've achieved great things in the past and you can achieve even more in the future. So step out there and begin stretching yourself to build your confidence. Growing more confident might be difficult, but the results can be well worth it.
Uncommon Knowledge
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
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