Shamina Taylor shares the keys to identifying when you're not able to receive
If you’re a founder or entrepreneur, you’ve probably heard a lot about manifestation - the process of bringing something into reality through thought, belief, and action. Views of the topic have reached well into the billions on TikTok and in 2020, Google searches of the term ‘manifestation’ went up 600%. The more imaginative aspects of it - that if you believe hard enough, you’ll manifest what you want - have been widely scientifically debunked, but the principle itself - that our thoughts shape our actions which, in turn, can shape our outcomes - is something that most entrepreneurs likely agree with, regardless of whether they buy into the entire concept or not.
One thing that does seem to track, even for those who don’t practice the Law of Attraction, is that entrepreneurs who find it easy to get into receiving mode generally find more success and fulfillment. In fact, research shows that business owners who have a strong entrepreneurial mindset are more likely to succeed than those who don’t.
This is something that business mentor Shamina Taylor sees all the time with her clients, who are typically female founders. “[When I first start working with clients], they typically feel they have to hustle more to see results. Many of them aren’t open to receiving.”
A former lawyer, Shamina’s life before her current career was seemingly perfect. “I checked all the boxes of what success looked like,” she recalls. “Married with two children, we had our million dollar home, went on lavish vacations, bought whatever we wanted, had our dream bodies and both of us owned our own businesses. Our life appeared to be Instagram perfect, but in January 2013 my whole life flashed before me during a yoga class. I realized I had all the things you were supposed to have but what was missing was my sense of purpose, fulfilment and deep peace.”
This led to a “deep dive” into who she was, which, in turn, led to a divorce. “I had to realize why I was so emotionally cut off from life. Why I could be successful, but never felt fulfilled,” she says. “I was always chasing what was next, like a drug. No success ever felt like I was there. It was never enough and I could never celebrate my success or achievements.”
This is a struggle and her subsequent healing led her to do the work she does today and is something she sees her clients grappling with, too. Now, she specializes in helping women - entrepreneurs in particular - overcome the thought patterns and behaviors that are stopping them living the life they want. “So many of them are burnt out and exhausted, never feeling fulfilled. They’re protecting themselves from feeling past pain again, [so they] are very controlling of how things and their environment needs to be. And in doing so they stop the flow of clients and wealth into their business.”
This, she says, is what stops the flow of good things coming into their businesses.
But what does it actually mean to be in ‘receiving mode’? After all, most of us probably believe that if we’re willing to put in the hard work to achieve something, surely the easiest and most exciting part will be welcoming that thing into our lives?
“Receiving mode means you are open to allow things in,” Shamina explains. “You trust more and effortlessly allow more to come to you, instead of chasing after people and things. You are not pushing and forcing things to happen - overexerting and overperforming to get things done. Over-analyzing.”
This isn’t about believing in manifestation, but being able to pinpoint where you might be subconsciously sabotaging your own success. Here, Shamina shares some of the most common signs of not being able to receive and what to do about it.
Overemphasis on work ethic
In a culture that praises relentless work ethic, Shamina sees lots of female entrepreneurs prioritizing constant action over allowing opportunities to come to them naturally. This focus on hard work, she says, can make it challenging to adopt a mindset of openness and receptivity.
“This woman typically likes to be in control at all times,” says Shamina. “She’s always busy, close to burnout or in it already. If she takes time off, she feels lazy and typically wants to wear all the hats in her business because she believes no one can do it as well as her.”
The solution? “Learn how to delegate. [If you have a team] let them do more to support you. Ask for help and accept it - learn to lean into your support team.”
Issues with self value
Shamina sees a lot of women struggling with confidence issues and imposter syndrome, leading them to doubt their worthiness of success. These insecurities, she believes, can create barriers to cultivating the kind of mindset that believes there’s a wealth of opportunity all around us, and that they don’t have to constantly be ‘doing’ in order to access it.
“[These women] have been told they have to work really hard for money or the things that they want, so they don’t know how to receive,” Shamina explains. This can often lead to undercharging and over delivering in order to feel worthy of any kind of reprieve. “They overgive in their work and are constantly comparing themselves to others.”
Shamina believes that self worth sets our standards of what we are willing to accept or not, so working on raising this will allow you to receive more.
“When you aren’t chasing down clients and letting them come to you, you are valuing your gifts and expertise. You are setting the standard. You don’t need to make people want what you have to offer because you know the value of it. You can sell your product or service for a higher ticket price too because you aren’t devaluing what you can do and how quickly you can solve the problem for the potential client,” Shamina says. “Once you have that worthiness in place. You are now the one everyone is after instead of you chasing down clients begging them to work with you in desperate scarcity energy and taking whatever they will pay.”
Fear of dependence
Being open to receiving requires vulnerability and a willingness to accept support from others. Some female entrepreneurs may fear appearing weak or dependent, leading them to resist entering into a receiving mindset. This can often show up as a reluctance to delegate or relinquish control.
“When you can delegate and receive support, it allows you to work less, get your time back, stay in your zone of genius and not wear all the hats in your business,” Shamina says. “You can stop trading your time for money.
Having a fixed mindset
As an entrepreneur, you likely have both short and long term goals, as well as a plan for how you’re going to achieve them. But as Shamina often sees with her clients, if you’re too fixed on a particular path, you can end up missing other opportunities that will get you there faster. Shamina explains: “They need to know HOW things are going to happen. They can’t trust that they will.”
Needing to know everything, Shamina says, actually stops you from taking other opportunities or being open to hearing of another way to solve an issue.
The first step to overcoming this is to embrace uncertainty as an opportunity for growth and innovation rather than a setback. Allow yourself to explore new possibilities and experiment with different strategies, understanding that there may be multiple paths to success, and be willing to adapt and pivot when necessary.
Lowering boundaries
“Boundaries set the standard of how you value yourself and your business,” Shamina says. So the questions you need to ask yourself are, what are you willing to accept or not? What do you value?
The quickest way to recognize if your boundaries are weak is how much you give to clients and customers. “Many times women who have weak boundaries will do way more for the client than is required,” Shamina explains.
As Shamina suggests, start by setting boundaries with your pricing. “Allow yourself to hold your price. Don’t meet a potential client at their scarcity level mindset and feel obligated to adjust the pricing.”
“The energy you are in when you are making power moves is how successful you will be,” Shamina summarizes. “When you are balancing both ambition and receiving, you aren’t forcing things to happen. You are putting strategies in place and then trusting in those strategies.”
To learn more about Shamina and her work, visit her website here.
