Former Top Gear host Richard Hammond has revealed why he shed "tears of relief" over the horror crash in 2006 that almost killed him.
The 54-year-old was on life support in 2006 after he lost control of a £2million supercar in Switzerland which left him in a coma with a frontal lobe brain injury. He miraculously survived the ordeal but at one point doctors didn't think he was going to make it. Doctors were monitoring his vitals and said that he was on full life support and breathing apparatus.
His wife was told by doctors that they thought Richard was going to die, and when Mindy asked if there was anything they could do, they replied: "No, not really." And now, Richard has opened up about his guilt as he asked his BBC producer to make a challenge for him to go "f***ing fast" on Top Gear.
"There was a sense of regret, but there was also a sense of answering a question that I’ve always wanted the answer to," he explained. "Because we do all wonder at some point, ‘When’s that going to happen to me?’ And it was very much, ‘Oh, it’s now, and the next thing to do is to die’. It wasn’t frightening. I wasn’t wildly unhappy. I was very calm.”
He was in a coma for several weeks and suffered depression, memory loss and more. He was still struggling two years later and cried tears of relief when he was told recovery could take longer. Speaking to Spencer Matthews on his podcast Big Fish, Richard said: “I remember two, three years after the crash I was making a documentary with (legendary racing driver) Stirling Moss and talking to a big doctor, Sid Watkins, who was a massive influence in improving helmets in motorsport.
Sid told him not to worry and that recovery "could be a lot longer than [two years], just take your time." It was then that Richard cried tears of relief, having been reassured that his struggles were valid and not to be worried about. He went on to discuss his "terrible survivor's guilt". Richard said: "[It wasn't] because other people had died around me and I’d survived, which is the sort of commonly held view of it. I felt guilt because ‘Have I done this?’
“I mean, it was me that ran into (Top Gear executive producer Andy) Wilman’s office at the BBC. I don’t know why the idea came to me — I just ran in and said ‘Wilman, Wilman, I want to go real f***ing fast, really fast — like, proper fast’. That’s where the idea came from."
He got the green light to drive a jet-powered dragster but a tyre delaminated and burst at 320mph. "Was it my fault? I have responsibilities — two beautiful daughters, Izzy and Willow. They’re everything," he added. “Had I risked them being without a father by my rash actions?
“So I had terrible guilt until they could look at what telemetry there was on the machine and they could assure me, ‘No, Richie, your reactions were good, you did everything, there was nothing you could do beyond that point. The tyre had gone, it was an accident’. So that assuaged the guilt.”
Big Fish with Spencer Matthews is available on Global Player now, with new episodes dropping weekly
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