Giving Myself ‘Goosebumps’: R.L. Stine Talks Writing, Head Colds And Awful Puppets

After I connect through the World Wide Web to his spooky apartment in New York City, the first thing Goosebumps author R.L. Stine jokingly asks me is, “How come you have a [filming] set?”

He’s referring to the Attack of the Jack-O'-Lanterns Tim Jacobus Goosebumps cover I’ve digitally plastered behind my desk chair, which expertly hides my messy writing office. I can’t have famous authors getting appalled over the chaotic state of my professional life, can I? Some dirty secrets are best kept from childhood heroes.

“Is this in your house?” he continues, and I assure him that it’s actually my Goosebumps-themed writing room, a statement that isn’t entirely untrue. He laughs and laments that he doesn’t have a set like that, even though I can see a movie-ready doppelganger ventriloquist dummy perched in the background of his video chat window, one that he refers to as his ‘mini me’.

The creepy atmosphere is readily apparent. But really, what else would R.L. Stine have in his haunted homestead? Fresh flowers? Live, Laugh, Love tchotchkes? Crocheted baby farm animals? If so, Curly the Skeleton would be ashamed. I would be, too.

Never one to disappoint, though, Stine also mentions the existence of his three-foot-long pet cockroach—apparently, he tells people he caught it under the sink. Unable to let this perfect opportunity skitter away, I offer that perhaps It Came From Beneath the Sink. Much like R.L. Stine, I’m a dad now, so dad jokes are mandatory.

Thankfully, he laughs again, and I come to the realization that, after a literal lifetime of writing, Bob (as he told me to call him in the interview) is still the same Jovial Bob Stine who was composing humor magazines and joke books back in the ‘70s and ‘80s. This was long before he became the designated ‘literary training bra for Stephen King’, of course.

Stine did celebrate a rather significant birthday recently, but don’t dare mention it to him. “Oh, shut up,” he says, clearly in jest, but also sort of not. “I don’t want to hear about that. I don’t feel a day over 95.” I find myself respecting the humor that Stine still so effortlessly employs; it flows out of him like finished manuscripts did in the ‘90s. His cool, deadpan banter is infectious, and so is his energy. Because truth be told, the man is still impressively productive in the year 2023.

The middle grade horror master has four hot-off-the-press books hitting store shelves this Fall—“That’s crazy, I should be sitting by the pool,” he adds. While the waves of pages don’t even come close to comparing to the insane writing schedule he kept during the height of the Goosebumps craze, it’s truly nothing to scoff at.

Why Did the Monster Cross the Road? is a picture book collaboration with illustrator and Arthur creator Marc Brown, a story that obviously harkens back to Bob’s silly days as editor at Bananas, a funny publication for teens that was similar in style to Mad Magazine.

Short-story collection Stinetinglers 2 is a sequel to (what else) 2022’s Stinetinglers, while Scariest.Book.Ever. kicks off the brand new Goosebumps series House of Shivers.

Finally, the book I’m most excited about, There's Something Strange About My Brain: Writing Horror for Kids, is a sort of how-to manual for aspiring writers (i.e. me) based on his excellent MasterClass course, which Stine is quick to touch on.

“It’s five hours of me talking. That’s a lot, right?” he self-deprecates. “I’m actually very proud of it. We filmed it over three days in this abandoned mansion in Yonkers. They wanted atmosphere. It was December, it was freezing cold, and I had a horrible head cold. So they had to edit out all the sniffling. That’s a tough job!”

Naturally, I ask what drives him to keep writing after all the incredible success he’s experienced. “Greed, I guess,” he says, laughing. “I wouldn’t know what else to do all day! I’m so used to doing this, I write every day, and I still love it. It’s also a challenge for me to come up with new stuff.” He writes from 10 AM to 1 PM consistently and quits when he gets to 2,000 words. Then he walks the dog, though I didn’t confirm if his dog is, in fact, The Barking Ghost.

Stine isn’t staying cooped up in his apparitional abode these days, as he’s touring five different cities before the end of the year in support of House of Shivers. Evidently, the crowds are coming out with ghastly enthusiasm in what Stine calls a recent popularity ‘resurgence’ for Goosebumps books. He credits some of the reinvigorated interest to the new Goosebumps show airing on Disney+ and Hulu.

It’s at this point that I boldly present a tattered, worn copy of 101 Silly Monster Jokes, a diminutive Scholastic book that Bob wrote back in 1986. “Oh, you’re just holding that up to embarrass me. How’d you get that?” We share another laugh, and then he says, “Hey, I made a living writing those things! One year, I wrote 101 School Cafeteria Jokes, 101 Dog Jokes and 101 Monster Jokes, and they were all the same jokes.” A peek behind the retro comedy book curtain, for sure.

I suppose if you’ve written close to 400 books like Stine has, then looking back to earlier work would be embarrassing, because writing naturally evolves and improves over time. That’s if you’re doing it right, I guess. Which led me to bring up his seriously legendary and totally bonkers productivity back in the ‘90s, and I don’t use the word ‘bonkers’ lightly. This was an era when he was simultaneously churning out both Fear Street and Goosebumps books every month, and even dabbled in television writing for a time, which we’ll get to in a bit.

So what was the secret sauce? Red Bull hadn’t hit the States yet. Monster (Blood) Energy would have been completely appropriate, but it didn’t exist. Copious cups of coffin coffee with slime creamer, maybe? Mummy-wrapped Mars bars? I had to know what it took to be so damn prolific.

“I didn’t get out much,” he admits. “I was writing a book every two weeks. How did I do that?” He asks the question before I can, quite genuinely and like he doesn’t even have the answer. “I don’t know,” he confirms. “I was a lot younger. I’d gone 20 years [without much recognition] and then suddenly I had this incredible success, beyond my wildest dreams. It was so exhilarating, to have this kind of attention suddenly, I think that kept me going. I was sitting here writing, and it was not 10 to 1 in those days. It was a lot more hours! It was a lot to balance. But it was also really fun.”

One of the lesser known facts about Stine is that he served as head writer for Nickelodeon’s Eureeka’s Castle, which ran from 1989 to 1991 and boasted perhaps one of the best theme songs ever recorded for children’s television. Bob proceeds to rewind time, à la The Cuckoo Clock of Doom.

“I had a staff of ten writers, writing the puppet scripts. It really was Sesame Street, except we didn’t teach [kids] anything. It was great!” he says, cracking up. “I think they lost some IQ points every time they watched, but it was really fun to write. We had such talented puppeteers, they were all trained by Jim Henson, and it was a great pleasure, a nice experience for me. We did 100 episodes. But what happened is that horrible purple dinosaur came along and stole our audience. What an awful puppet.”

You might think this is a nod to evil Goosebumps villain Slappy, but Stine’s talking about Barney, the cursed, dopey tyrannosaurus who ‘loved you’ in addition to just about everyone else, and I have to agree: Eureeka’s Castle was ten times the show Barney & Friends ever was, at least to me. But the non-educational, fun-first approach to Nickelodeon’s fantasy-laden take on Sesame Street really accentuates what kind of writer Bob is, and always has been, for that matter.

It’s no secret that Stine’s books have received criticism over the years for being everything from ‘too formulaic’ to ‘promoting disrespect for adults’ and even ‘containing satanic symbols’ (that’s my absolute favorite). But in his previously mentioned MasterClass session, Stine makes it undoubtedly clear why he got into writing in the first place: To entertain.

Speaking to him now, it’s evident that he still knows exactly what his niche is and what purpose it serves, and personally, I can say that Goosebumps was largely responsible for my lifelong love of reading and writing. It’s difficult to knock anything with such a positive, lasting impact, and I relish memories of bringing the newest Goosebumps book to elementary school in my backpack every morning. This reader’s imagination was on fire, and that creative flame changed my entire life.

To be completely honest, Bob was never competing with Dickens or Hemmingway or Kerouac or Salinger, but his words were my gateway into the literary world at large, and I’m forever grateful for that. Most importantly, he made reading exciting. And after meeting him, I get the sense that he’s still channeling that same kind of excitement into his new stories for new generations.

Beyond R.L.’s endearing humility and playful self-deprecation, I think what strikes me most, just as our conversation comes to an unfortunate close, is one specific piece of advice he dispenses— off-the-cuff, straightforward, and very real. I tell him that, as a fellow writer, I often struggle with feeling pressure, getting worried, and battling a void-like lack of self-confidence.

His succinct response?

“You have to forget all that. Just forget it.”

I think I will, Bob. I think I will.