Jessica Karl, Columnist

It’s an Expensive Year to Be the Easter Bunny

With cocoa futures topping $10,000, don’t be surprised if your basket is all Peeps.

Cash poor.

Credit: Canva

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Between federal agents raiding Diddy’s home and the tragic Baltimore bridge collapse, there’s been no shortage of “oh nonews out today. But since it’s my birthday — and that of Lara Williams, my twin across the pond — let’s focus on a sweeter story. Of course I’m talking about cocoa futures, which surged above a previously unthinkable metric of $10,000 this morning. “This isn’t the S&P 500, a sh*tcoin or even the FED balance sheet. It’s the price of cocoa up +250% just in time for Easter, peak chocolate season,” Genevieve Roch-Decter tweeted.