DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been friends with another couple for many years. We would get together occasionally, and we mostly enjoyed their company. When the house across the street from ours became available, they bought it.
Not long after they moved in, the wife began copying our interior and exterior design elements and one night stood in our kitchen and said, “Well you know, everything’s a competition.” To say we were dismayed would be an understatement. My husband and I spent many years collecting vintage furniture and other items to create a distinctive home. It has been a labor of love.
Six months ago, we installed a unique garage door, unlike anything in the neighborhood. Abby, within three months she installed the exact same one! Are we wrong to find it crass and disrespectful?
We no longer want to spend time with them but don’t want to completely sever the connection because they are neighbors, and we also have some mutual friends. Moving is not an option; this is our home. What should we do? -- FED UP IN OHIO
DEAR FED UP: I understand why you are frosted and need to distance yourself. Who wants to be close to someone who considers “everything” to be a competition?
Perhaps it will lessen your frustration to remember that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, while you learn to accept things you cannot change. Of course it is in your best interest to keep things cordial, but it might be better if you no longer invite this woman INTO your home.
Stories by Abigail Van Buren
- Dear Abby: College professor husband overlooks common courtesy, especially toward his wife
- Dear Abby: Male cancer survivor reminds us that men can get breast cancer too
- Dear Abby: Brothers shirk duty to care for dad with Alzheimer’s
- Dear Abby: Husband’s quiet, underlying rage freezes wife into non-action when what she wants is freedom
- Dear Abby: We can’t believe our rude friends allow their dog to sit at our dinner table
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.