Dear Annie: Help, the boss is drinking our coffee!

Dear Annie: I work in a small office with four employees and one supervisor. Two of my colleagues and I are coffee drinkers. Instead of starting a fund, we started taking turns bringing in a coffee when it is running low. This system has worked for us.

What we do have an issue with is our supervisor helping himself to the coffee without offering to chip in. This has been going on for almost a year, and the three of us are really getting fed up. I don’t know how to make him understand that he is taking advantage. All we want is for him to contribute his fair share.

How can we approach this subject with him? What can we say to make him realize he is in the wrong?

— The Fa “brew”lous Three

Dear Fa”brew”lous Three: Since the troublemaker is your boss, the three of you have to make a decision: Is it worth it to upset your supervisor? If not, then decide in advance that the three of you will pay for him.

But if you really resent that, then I would suggest putting a coffee plan for the office in writing and asking everyone who drinks coffee, including the supervisor, to participate. The plan should be impersonal: If three workers participate, the cost — or responsibility for bringing a container — will be so much, and if four people participate, the cost per person will be that much less. If he refuses to participate and continues to drink your coffee, then you can either tell him to cut it out or report his behavior to his boss.

The main thing is to keep it impersonal. Don’t attack him for being a mooch.

• • •

Dear Annie: My husband of almost 20 years died in a motorcycle accident. Since then, I was unintentionally reacquainted with my first kiss/boyfriend, “Fred.” We both fell hard in love with each other.

After enduring numerous horrific drunken hurtful situations with Fred over a period of five years, I am finding myself wondering how much of our relationship he remembers.

He’s my mechanic, landscaper and handyman, and also a friend. Knowing that he experienced a traumatic head injury, do I dare try a relationship with him again? He doesn’t drink any longer. He said he has no apparent desire to. Do I give him another opportunity?

— Second Chances

Dear Second Chance: Fred sounds like he is trying. The fact that he does not drink anymore is huge and would change the dynamics of your relationship. However, without more specifics about this head injury, it is difficult to know how that could change your relationship. If you love him, he loves you and you’re both going into this relationship with your eyes open, then go for it. If he starts drinking again, then it’s time to say goodbye.

© 2024 Creators.com