As a parent, you're going to make mistakes. It's bound to happen.

Still, how you talk to your kids, and how you behave around them, can affect their confidence and mental strength — which go a long way in determining their future success, experts say. And there are a few mistakes all parents should try to avoid while raising happy, well-adjusted kids who develop the confidence to rebound from setbacks and keep striving for success.

Here are five things parents should try to never do if they want to raise successful, resilient kids, according to psychologists and other parenting experts.

Don't coddle them

Coddling your children makes them less likely to develop traits like resilience and perseverance, which can help them avoid crumbling under stress as adults. Resilient children typically have the confidence to bounce back from failures and continue taking necessary, calculated risks, research shows.

You don't need to treat your kids harshly, either. Set reasonable expectations and hold them accountable, advises bestselling author and parenting expert Esther Wojcicki.

You can help your children learn learn autonomy and self-motivation that way, including by giving them responsibility over certain everyday actions like doing chores or picking their own after-school activities, Wojcicki wrote for CNBC Make It in 2022.

"The more you trust your children to do things on their own, the more empowered they'll be," she wrote.

Don't punish their failures

Learning how to recover from failure in a healthy way is important. Punishing your child for making a mistake can send the wrong message: that failure is something to be ashamed of, rather than a temporary setback you can learn from, according to psychotherapist Amy Morin.

Instead, help your kids figure out what they should learn from each mistake, so they'll build the necessary confidence to succeed the next time around, Morin wrote for Make It last year. You can share stories of your own setbacks and how you overcame them, or examples of successful people who overcame early failures.

"The most accomplished people reached their goals by failing along the way," wrote Morin. "Kids who do well later in life focus their attention on what went wrong and how they could fix it. They have growth mindsets that help them turn failures into positive learning experiences."

Steer clear of pessimism

The world is full of constant challenges. It's easy to be pessimistic sometimes. But, always remember that "our beliefs and attitudes spill over to our kids," educational psychologist and parenting expert Michele Borba told Make It last year.

Optimistic kids are more likely to view obstacles as temporary setbacks that can be overcome, she added.

Excessive negativity can cause children and adults alike to give up more easily when the going gets tough, rather than working to create a solution, research shows. So, the next time you and your children experience a distressing setback, Borba recommends projecting optimism.

"[You can say] 'That's OK, we've got this.'" she said. "If you keep saying it, you're actually having your kid eavesdrop on your management strategy. And the most amazing thing is very often they pick it up, and now they have a way to talk back to the worry themself." 

Don't get annoyed when your kids ask a lot of questions

As tempting as it may be to beg your child to stop asking a seemingly endless string of questions — "What's that?" "What are you doing?" "Why??" — it's important to encourage your child's curiosity. Kids learn more, and remember what they learn, when they're actively curious, research shows.

"Parents of the most accomplished people always make learning new things a priority. And because they teach their kids to embrace curiosity, one thing they take very seriously is answering questions," bestselling author and researcher Dr. Kumar Mehta wrote for Make It in 2021.

Don't overreact

It's easy to get carried away worrying about your kids, but a bad grade or a falling out with one of their friends isn't the end of the world.

Considering how much your children notice, and often imitate, your mood and behavior, it's important to not become consumed with anxiety, according to developmental psychologist Aliza Pressman. Generally speaking, "nothing is an emergency" in your kids' day-to-day lives, Pressman, who co-founded the Mount Sinai Parenting Center, told Make It in January.

Pervasive anxiety can negatively affect kids' mental health, psychologists say, potentially leading to conditions like depression that can sap a child's motivation to succeed and confidence to take necessary risks.

Adopt a calming mantra — like, saying to yourself "I'm not being chased by a bear" — that forces you to take a beat and remember that things probably aren't as grievous as you first imagined, Pressman recommended.

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