Mount Pleasant-based best-selling author, Prioleau Alexander was the featured guest at the LENS (Law Enforcement Neighborhood Support) April 9 meeting at the IOP Exchange Club, as the night's speaker offered a satirical look at America's history to about 50 attendees.
Two of Alexander's recently published books include: Where Have All the Cowboys Gone? Madness, Mayhem, and the Making of America and They Don’t Call It the Submission Process for Nothing: A Rookie Author’s Rookie Year.
He began with a play on his first name, Prioleau (which is actually his middle name): “Pray-Low. My Mum stuck me with it. Because us natives are a bit different.”
Where Have All the Cowboys Gone? was inspired by a character in history with a colorful nickname, Alexander said. “Mad Anthony” was the larger-than-life Major General Anthony Wayne known for his daring Revolutionary War battlefield exploits.
“History is a 101 Freshman class, and you probably don’t remember much,” he said, “but it needs to be viewed in context.”
“Columbus was a liar and a cheat!” he said about the beginnings of America, as there were previous explorers. The funny part is that Columbus got taken advantage of by King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella of Spain. Columbus wanted to achieve fame and fortune, with a goal of getting to China by sailing in the opposite direction of the land route.
He said the story of Roanoke, Virginia was the brainchild of Sir Walter Raleigh who remained overseas for some time before returning. There, the only signs of the original settlement were some rusted pieces of equipment, and the word “CROATOAN” carved into a tree. (Prioleau said this stood for “Canned Roanoke Off Attempting To Organize Another Neighborhood). The lesson? The guy with unlimited power will always be looking out for number one, and that committees always produce “something,” but usually that is group stupidity.
The Pilgrims could not fill the Mayflower. He thinks the missing ones said, “We’ll pray on it!” to the audience’s laughter. The Mayflower Pact, according to Alexander, said we were stupid to come here and to do so right before winter, but the spirit among them was to try to get along and survive. He said the settlers in America learned from the Indians about food and farming, but then the White man caused wars and revenge.
King George was described by Alexander as a “Royal Forrest Gump." The French and Indian War was one of the King’s dumbest mistakes, he continued. Britain then demanded America pay for that war. We reacted to the bill with the Boston Tea Party.
After this came the Boston Massacre.
“Shooting into an unarmed crowd was a bad thing and we did pretty good with this until Kent State,” Prioleau said.
No taxation without representation was an idea many colonists did not wholly understand, Alexander said. The idea of “life, liberty and property” was an initial notion, but as there would be no royalty in America, Thomas Jefferson changed “property” to “the pursuit of happiness” instead.
George Washington was a great man who turned down a third term as president, as he did not want the presidency to be associated with royalty. George gave his retirement speech in a bar.
Alexander said that South Carolina experienced the most bloodshed of any colony, and that Charleston had a tea party before Boston's ever took place.
The United States seal (motto) is: E Pluribus Unum meaning, Out of Many, One. This phrase was found in a British magazine.
“Listen my children and you will hear about the midnight ride of Paul Revere” was done for poetry’s sake per Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s famous poem. He said Revere was not the only rider that night as William Dawes also rode.
Alexander mentioned the 1824 presidential election marked the final collapse of the Republican-Federalist political framework. After the votes were counted, no candidate had received the majority needed of the electoral votes, putting the outcome in the hands of the House of Representatives.
The year 1861 marked the US Civil War between the states. Yet, Alexander stated the definition of a civil war is when one group wants to kick out another to run the country. He said that never happened. The reasons for this war were extraordinarily complex, and none of the officers were charged with treason, not even Robert E. Lee, as some legal scholars believe the secession was constitutional.
After that war, it was the era of the cowboy. They represented America. They were a mix of races. They lived life like “hell in a saddle,” he said.
Alexander went on to discuss his views on key events in history, such as America’s Gilded Age of the robber baron, the Great Depression of 1929 and World War II.
The Korean War, he added, was “infinitely winnable – it was Tactics 101.” Alexander thought that having dropped the atom bomb on Nagasaki and Hiroshima broke President Harry Truman’s nerves which affected his decision in the Korean War.
The author's journey ultimately transports the reader to America's participation in the Vietnam War in 1965 and the assassinations of Robert F. Kennedy and Dr. Martin Luther Kind Jr. three years later.
“That’s where I end my book,” Prioleau said. "You can write about history, but it’s hard to write about history that you lived through. If that’s the case, then it’s actually part history and part opinion.”
As for his other book, They Don’t Call It the Submission Process for Nothing: A Rookie Author’s Rookie Year, he said it's the tumultuous story of trying to get one's book printed. His agent first told him no one would publish that book, but Alexander found a small outfit (Blydyn Square Books in Kenilworth, New Jersey) whose publishing house thought it was hilarious and signed off on it. He also said he gets comments from nonwriters who tell him the book was their favorite, as Alexander spilled his guts out about the ego-crushing part of being an author.
Political satirist P.J. O’Rourke was the author who inspired him, Alexander said.
“I read his first book when I lived at 406 Palm Boulevard in the Isle of Palms over 25 years ago. This is the most brilliant writer I’ve ever encountered. I wanted to steal his stuff,” Alexander quipped.
Alexander described You Want Fries With That? as his funniest production, which author Pat Conroy described as “magnificent.”
With respect to the best book he has read, Prioleau said it would be the science fiction book by Douglas Adams: The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, which he deemed “the most creative book I’ve ever read,” while the greatest political satire he has ever read is Don’t Vote — It Just Encourages the Bastards, one of O’Rourke’s last books.
Mary E. Regan is a Freelance Publicist with her ProPublicist.com consultancy. Seeking new publicity clients and writing projects. Story ideas? Email: Mary@ProPublicist.com.