Move over, Fabio. Romance novels have changed — and so has the community

I remember blushing over my first romance novel, liberated from my mother’s bookshelf. The clinch cover featured legendary Italian model Fabio in a passionate, shirtless embrace with our heroine. It was a neon sign that screamed “EROTICA.” There was no way I could read it in public or even admit I was reading it. Romance novels were cheesy and embarrassing — even if I enjoyed them.

Decades later I have fallen into a rabbit warren of romance and romance-adjacent novels with glee. I’ve changed, romance novels have changed and the romance reading community has changed. Forget Fabio, being a romance reader now is all about fun — even when the characters are morally gray.

“If you think about the romance genre, the staying power is there. It’s just the shame has been removed,” said Andrea Pangilinan, bookseller at Third Place Books in Seward Park. The caveat — and appeal — of a romance novel for her is that “you’re guaranteed a happy ending.” 

However, Pangilinan notes the romance world is “so big,” and the idea of what could be seen as a romance book isn’t universally agreed upon. Rebecca Yarros’ book “Fourth Wing,” about an elite school of dragon riders, has spent 47 weeks on The New York Times bestseller list. Today, they span from dark themes to fantastical worlds, making it difficult to get your arms around just how popular the genre is, but easy to find the perfect romance novel for you. 

Growth in community 

Chelsea Castor’s day job is in health care, but she’s also a social media influencer on TikTok and Instagram, making hilarious, rapid fire book recommendation videos for people who are on the hunt for their next great read, racking up millions of views. A lifelong reader, Castor fell in love with romance novels after picking up “The Cruel Prince,” a young adult (YA) fantasy romance by Holly Black during the pandemic.

“I was looking for the next thing to scratch the itch, but I wasn’t friends with people who were readers. That’s when I heard about TikTok and started making content,” Castor says. “There wasn’t anything to do, I was mass-consuming books and I am now averaging 100 books a year.”

One of the biggest things that has changed for romance readers over the past few years is the community. BookTok and Bookstagram (book-centered content on social media platforms TikTok and Instagram) allowed readers to connect with each other in new ways, helping to remove the stigma that once surrounded “dirty” books like “50 Shades of Grey,” an erotic series that got its start as a spicier fan fiction retelling of the popular YA vampire “Twilight” series.

“Romance readers love word-of-mouth and they’re voracious readers,” said Pangilinan, the Third Place bookseller. It’s only natural that they would flock to one another online. Now instead of hiding your romance book behind a book cover, readers are flaunting tattoos from their favorite reads, wearing sweatshirts that mention fictional places from books and adorning their e-readers with “in my smut era” stickers. They’re all beacons of light, attracting other romance readers and helping to forge new friendships.

Like Castor, Eugene, Ore.-based Kodie Dorman’s introduction to the romance reading community was through BookTok. Dorman was recording funny reaction videos of her husband reading Sarah J. Maas’ “A Court of Thorns and Roses,” which caught the eye of Jordan Day, a Fairfax, Va-based author and reader. They bonded over their mutual enjoyment of romantasy books and now they’re gearing up for the third iteration of a multiday event they run called Books, Gowns & Crowns, scheduled for Oct. 17-19 in Seattle.

The event is one of a few romance-centered bookish events that have sprung up in the past few years. Like Emerald City Comic Con — the most recent iteration of which included a book signing by popular romantasy author Yarros — Books, Gowns & Crowns allows readers to get up close and personal with some of their favorite authors. There’s a book signing, a cosplay event and a ball where guests are encouraged to dress up in lavish gowns and “fully immerse yourself because tonight, you are the main character in this story.”

They held the first event in Portland in September 2022, followed by a second in Tampa, Fla. in May 2023. “I’ve never felt anything like this outside of these events. It’s pure joy, pure magic and such a sense of belonging,” she says.

Dorman says for her, the welcoming community of romance readers isn’t so tough to figure out — it’s simply a natural progression. “Our generation grew up as Harry Potter kids. We have embraced uniqueness and being true to yourself,” she says.

Day agrees, noting that when she finally picked up “A Court of Thorns and Roses,” “I thought this is so great, the characters are so relatable. Things we loved about ‘Harry Potter’ or ‘Twilight’ just adapted to fit where we were in our stages of life. It had adventure, real arguments and real spice.”

Talking about those books with others was another way to connect with people.

Megan Futej is another Bookstagrammer who has found joy in the romance reading community. Futej, who lives in West Seattle and works in social media management for Starbucks grew up going to midnight movie premieres for the “Harry Potter” and “Twilight” series but now attends midnight book release parties at Pegasus Book Exchange, a used-book store in her neighborhood.

“As you get older it is harder to make friends, but I think books are this language that so many of us can speak. As soon as you meet someone and find out they are a reader too, you know you’re going to be friends,” Futej says. “I have very much enjoyed the community and friendships that have come into my life because of books and reading.”

The first video Castor posted that took off was her playing a character asking for a love story book recommendation. As she tries to home in on what exactly that means, book covers appear as she’s giving more and more genre-specific recommendations. The caption is “I’m going to need you to be as specific as possible when asking for recs.” It was posted nearly a year ago, but she’s still fielding comments from people who resonated with the video. 

For example, if you wanted to read a story about a down-on-her-luck woman who gets an unconventional job at a sperm bank catering to minotaurs, you’ve got it! Just read “Morning Glory Milking Farm” by independent author C.M. Nascosta.

Of course there’s a love story in there — but it’s not just for shock value. Romance novels these days can contain real depth, portraying character growth and healthy relationship fluff as well as smut. 

“I went into that book for the ha-ha’s,” Castor says. “I tell you that is one of the most wholesome, Hallmark movie books I’ve read in a long time.”

An adapting genre

As a romance author herself, Pangilinan, the Third Place bookseller, has grown the store’s romance offerings from half a bookcase to three full bookcases of diverse titles to attract all kinds of readers — ones who love legacy romance authors like Nora Roberts and Lisa Kleypas, as well fans of contemporary romance authors like Emily Henry. She also helps point readers to romantic books that might not be shelved in her section. 

Pangilinan has a joke with her book-loving friends, “Is it romantasy or was it [fantasy] written by a woman?” she said. “I’m very discerning about what I put in romance — I don’t put Sarah J. Maas in romance because it’s more of a contained plot with world building.”

Like many, Maas’ books were my entry point into “romantasy” and since then I’ve read dozens of romantasy books, but also books that could slot into general fiction or be further distilled into microgenres of romance like historical, western, fantasy and more.

There are still the same tropes that have been popular with romance novels for decades — virgins, surprise pregnancy, fake dating, forced proximity — but themes contained in all of these different types of romance novels are changing. It’s becoming more common to read about main characters managing mental illness or recovering from trauma and for a page with potential trigger warnings to be slotted in just after the dedication.

“I appreciate trigger warnings myself but they’re also a hot topic, just like talks about consent. Now on the page there’s verbal consent and discussions about how to perform safe sex,” Lauren Roux, an Everett-based author and president of the Emerald City Romance Writers, which oversees a membership of around 150 PNW-based romance writers.

This emphasis on healthy relationships is also a shift in the romance genre. While Pangilinan still recommends what she calls “foundational” romance books — what our grandmothers would’ve called “bodice rippers” — she now cautions readers to enjoy them with a critical eye warning of “dubious consent.” 

“Lisa Kleypas, [an author who has] been writing since the ’80s, pulled her whole catalog and has been rereleasing it to address the problematic stuff,” Pangilinan says. 

The moral of this story is that there’s something for everyone in the romance world. If you’re waiting for a sign to pick up a romance novel, this is it. And if you’re reading them secretly — this is also your sign to tell someone about it.

“Read what you want to read,” Futej, the West Seattle bookstagrammer says. “Own it.”