Biological Dad Drops Out of Wedding Weeks Before—but There's a Happy Ending

Many have heard of or experienced instances of a chosen family stepping up when families of origin couldn't or wouldn't. And one woman has shed light on the intimate experience of being let down—and the freedom in letting go.

In a social media post, Caroline Rødvik, 36, discussed her tumultuous relationship with her biological father, which culminated in his cancellation of his wedding invite six weeks before her wedding day. Rødvik told Newsweek she was upset when her father went back on his word.

"When he did say yes, I was happily surprised. But there was also a part of me who definitely thought that attending my wedding was the least he could do after a lifetime of failing as a parent," she said. "When he canceled—in the most disrespectful way possible—I was livid."

Rødvik said her father had RSVP'd "yes" several times after being invited to the wedding. But six weeks before the event—and a year after he had first learned of the date—he canceled by email.

"I can't come to Portugal in March—I can't afford it. I hope you have a lovely time with friends and family," he wrote, according to Rødvik.

The Disappointment Made Her 'White-Hot Furious'

After receiving her father's cancellation email, Rødvik said her anger and disappointment were palpable, as she felt a newfound clarity around her father's character.

"For my wedding, all I wanted was for him to show up, eat and drink on our bill, see me get married to the love of my life," she said. "That's all I was asking. I thought any decent father would want to see their daughter married."

"I was furious, white-hot furious," she continued. "My body felt cold. My head felt empty. It truly felt like the moment the wool was pulled away from my eyes, and I could see him for who he actually is: an unkind, selfish coward."

Rødvik said she texted her father after receiving his email to confirm he wasn't "playing a mean prank" on her. After his cancellation was confirmed, she told him she found his behavior "despicable." She then deleted his number and blocked him online.

'At the End of It All, There Is Also Relief'

Rødvik said the support she received from her mother, stepfather and fiancé—and those online who responded to her social media post—made all the difference.

"My mom immediately reminded me she loved me unconditionally, and that my worth as a human was not dependent on my father's behavior," she said. "My fiancé just scoffed in disgust at my father's behavior—the email cancellation was particularly offensive to him—and then made me laugh with some silly jokes."

She said the wedding planning had moved along, and that her biological father had no sway in her feelings about her wedding.

"My biological father, luckily, has no power to ruin the sheer joy I feel about getting married to the best person I have ever met in my entire life," she said. "His absence is his own loss, and he will bear the weight of that fully and completely on his own shoulders."

Rødvik said having so many people validate her experiences was cathartic and comforting. She realized her experience "hit close to home" for many, and that opening herself up online invited an entire community to remind her she wasn't alone.

Cutting off a family member is no easy decision, but Rødvik said it had allowed a feeling that was inaccessible for most of her childhood: relief.

"At the end of it all, there is also relief. Relief that I can cut a tie that has held me back. Relief that I no longer have to try to feed something that only drains me," she said. "Relief that I don't need to look out for him and his feelings and well-being at the actual wedding. Relief that I'm done with something that has only caused me pain."

Looking ahead to her wedding, Rødvik remained focused on the joy of the occasion and being surrounded by cherished friends and family. She said her true father figure, her stepfather, would walk her down the aisle. "I do feel lighter," she added. "More free."