Ask Amy: My girlfriend is ‘heavily hinting’ I shouldn’t spend a week away from her this summer

DEAR AMY: I’m a sophomore in college. My girlfriend and I met on campus at the beginning of the school year and have been together for six months (we’re both women).

We’re making plans for this summer – we’re both looking into working at a beach resort near our college.

Every summer I go to a reunion at my summer camp. This is a camp I went to for most of my childhood and through my teens. I was a counselor there for three years. The reunion week is a time when we former campers go back to camp to perform some maintenance tasks and help to prepare the camp for the summer.

I really enjoy doing this work and I like seeing my fellow campers and staff. It’s a really special experience for me.

My girlfriend is having a tough time with my decision to take this week away this summer. She says she will miss me too much and she is heavily hinting that I shouldn’t do it.

I’m wondering what you think.

– Camper for Life

DEAR CAMPER: I think your girlfriend is really into you. I also think she is trying to manipulate and control you.

A week apart can seem like a very long time when you are in the first throes of attachment. But – that’s the way it goes.

Your girlfriend should not pressure you to forgo something that is so important to you.

This is part of your life, and your attachment, service and commitment to this place and these people is an important part of who you are.

A person who loves and respects you should on some level also celebrate this aspect of your life and character.

This is a bit of a test of your girlfriend’s maturity, sense of perspective, and her overall respect for you. So far, she’s failing.

If she really pours on the pressure for you to drop this week-long commitment, then you should consider taking a vacation from this relationship. Do not cave.

***

DEAR AMY: “Tired Boyfriend” reported that his girlfriend, “Chrissy,” had quit her job before Christmas and now only wants to be a “stay-at-home girlfriend.”

You missed the most obvious point: Chrissy is clinically depressed.

Your response, “We all want to be a stay-at-home girlfriend. But life doesn’t work that way,” was heartless.

– Upset Reader

DEAR UPSET: I’m not a clinician and would never attempt to diagnose anyone based on a shred of subjective information.

You probably shouldn’t do that, either.

(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)

(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)