DEAR ABBY: I lost my darling wife recently. Her death was a shock to everyone. She was placed on life support for a short period while the medical staff performed tests to determine the extent of her injuries. When it became apparent that she would spend the rest of her life in a vegetative state, no decisions had to be made by her family or by me.
My wife had an advance directive in place stating she did not want to remain living in this condition. I was extremely fortunate in that no one in her family wanted to contest the document. As hard as it was for me to discontinue life support, I knew it was what she wanted. She passed peacefully, quietly and quickly.
Abby, please encourage your readers to make the time and make the effort to have an advance directive drawn up, whatever their desires may be. It was my wife’s last gift to me, and I will be forever grateful for it. -- REMEMBERING HER IN ARIZONA
DEAR REMEMBERING HER: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your wife. I appreciate you taking the time to share this important information with my readers and me. Your letter serves as a reminder that all end-of-life documents should be reviewed regularly to be sure they reflect one’s current thinking.
Stories by Abigail Van Buren
- Dear Abby: Involved aunt should leave relationship mending to widowed sister, niece
- Dear Abby: College professor husband overlooks common courtesy, especially toward his wife
- Dear Abby: Male cancer survivor reminds us that men can get breast cancer too
- Dear Abby: Brothers shirk duty to care for dad with Alzheimer’s
- Dear Abby: Husband’s quiet, underlying rage freezes wife into non-action when what she wants is freedom
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.