Grief and emptiness: Here's what slain Nassau deputy's family said during sentencing

One by one, family members and the fiancee of slain Nassau County Deputy Joshua Moyers tearfully, angrily and resolutely expressed the magnitude of their anguish since his death in September 2021. Pain they said will never heal.

Not once did they mention Patrick McDowell by name during their emotional victim impact statements Tuesday, as jurors must decide whether to recommend a life sentence or execution for the Jacksonville man who shot and killed the 29-year-old deputy during a late-night traffic stop.

Not once did they demand or urge the jury to vote one way or the other. Instead, they poured out their grief and provided glimpses of the type of beloved man and public servant their Joshua was and aspired to be.

The judge gave everybody Wednesday off, and they'll return Thursday to continue with the defense's turn during the sentencing phase for McDowell. The 37-year-old veteran was on probation and suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder and addiction when he was pulled over in a stolen van after doing drugs with his female passenger who testified Monday.

What did Deputy Joshua Moyers' fiancee say?

First to testify was Ivy Carter, who was in court but whose statement was read by State Attorney's Office victim specialist Renae Lewin.

Carter and Moyers started dating in May 2013.

“We were completely inseparable for the eight-plus years," she wrote "… He lived and breathed law enforcement.”

When he started his career with the Nassau County Sheriff’s Office, “I can’t say the years were easy. Any spouse or family member of law enforcement officers know better than that. So any nights were spent worrying, not if, but when something would happen. You just hope it wouldn’t be this severe, especially for Josh as he was so proactive at work. My only saving grace in all of this was that I integrated myself into the job he loved so much by riding with him as often as I could. I used to tell people I spent more time in a police car than I did at my own job.”

She related a story about when they got engaged. It was the week of his birthday in August 2019. He had planned an elaborate trip to Key West. He reserved an entire private beach and even hired a photographer to hide in the bushes to capture this day.

“He finds a stopping point as the sun is beginning to set," she said. "He walks in front of me, turns around and drops to his knee. His whole body shaking, he says, ‘Ivy Elizabeth Carter, will you marry me?’ That was the top of the list for the best day of my life. Unfortunately, I never got to walk down the aisle with this man as he was taken from me. Being just his fiancee at the time of his murder, legally I will never be able to be seen as a family member, never get to be the Moyers I so desperately longed to be.”

What did Deputy Joshua Moyers' father say?

Tim Moyers said he retired in February 2022 to allow him, along with the family, to give his son proper honor for his ultimate sacrifice.

“The last 30 months have been filled with grief, high emotion and emptiness, my sleepless nights adjusting to our new life and our new reality,” he said.

“Josh was always a servant both in life,” then he paused for several seconds and continued, “both in life and in death, Josh was always giving. Our faith is our guiding principle. Joshua lived his life with a positive outlook, a servant’s heart and always a smile. He was stern, yet gentle. He was generous, he was loving and he was kind. He lived a life of integrity and honor every day. These are the things that I’m constantly thinking of, that are ever present every minute, every hour of every day. These are memories that define Josh’s life.”

As a husband of 34 years and a father, he said he’s just concerned about the lifelong well-being of the family.

What did Deputy Joshua Moyers' brother say?

When Jordan Moyers got the call from his father at 3 a.m. about his brother, he pulled out his suitcase and started packing his clothes. He said he included his black suit, but then he pulled it back out because “there wasn’t any way that he wasn’t going to pull through."

Then he got another phone call.

"My dad had to tell me that my brother wasn’t going to survive being shot," he said, with anger in his voice. "I still remember that moment vividly. I didn’t even know it was possible to feel so much grief as in that moment. As my legs literally gave out underneath me as I screamed and cried on the floor, sobbing until I had to pick myself up off the ground and frantically call every friend I had until someone picked up and could help me get a flight back home. I tried to do it myself, but I couldn’t even see straight.”

That wasn’t the first time. Months later he would find himself again on the floor sobbing and crying out again.

“Or it would happen again when completely overwhelmed thinking about all the things I never got to tell him, that I’ll never get to tell him because the last time I actually talked to him, he was in a coma moments before his heart stopped beating, waiting for his organs to be harvested,” his brother said.

He had to quit his job because he would keep breaking down. He felt ashamed because he could no longer provide for himself.

“Even now talking about this, I feel shame, guilty that I’m allowed to sit here surrounded by my remaining family and complain about all the ways that Josh being murdered has made my life harder and caused me pain, when he doesn’t get to experience anything ever again.”

What did Deputy Joshua Moyers' mother say?

The late deputy's mother, Brenda Moyers, was the last witness called by the prosecution.

“When I held Joshua in my arms for the first time, I then knew my real purpose," she said. "I left my job at the hospital and became full-time Mom. My quest was to love, nurture, protect, teach him values along with his dad and God’s help. We had a special bond as mom and son. Our love outshines my abilities to define it.”

On their last phone conversation, she told him she was planning a trip out West. He wanted him and Ivy to go too. She recounted that whenever anything bad would happen involving the Sheriff’s Office, he would call and say he’s OK, it wasn’t him. But on Sept. 23, that call never came.

“I canceled the trip, and instead of finding hotels to stay in, we were viewing caskets for his burial," she said. "He had been killed and so were our dreams of the future. This would begin our nightmare.”

She said his murder has caused such high anxiety that she's secluded herself.

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"I’ve been in physical therapy due to the stress caused to my body," she said. "That doesn’t include how bad my husband’s health, my son Jordan, Ivy and our family and friends, and officers, have and continue to experience.”

She then read a couple of lines from her journal: “3:30 a.m., not this again. Please, God, let me get a night of sleep. My pillow is soaked as I think of my Joshua.”

She related how she saw a red-headed officer in a Nassau County uniform and she wanted to hug him, thinking it was Joshua. And again she saw him in a parking lot, and she slammed on her car’s brakes and sat there until she could face reality, it wasn’t Joshua.

At the two-year mark of his death, she drove to where he was killed to place a plaque near the railroad tracks. But a train came by and she just grabbed hold of the pole “shaking uncontrollably.”

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She said their holidays and special occasions are empty.

“It’s a horrible nightmare we are living," his mother said. "As parents, our child has been brutally murdered while he protected this community he loved and called home.”

They’re never to heal from the excruciating pain they feel every day, she said.

“One of the most heart-wrenching pains is knowing of all the good he did here," she concluded, "there is no lineage of him in our family to go forward.”