Bethenny Frankel Says Her 10-Year Divorce Was ‘More Torturous' Than Death: ‘I Thought I Would Never Survive It’

Bethenny Frankel is ready to tell the untold story of her 10-year divorce nightmare.

The Real Housewives of New York City star, 53, has launched a new podcast with iHeart Radio in which she's deconstructing the decade-long battle she underwent to end her two-year marriage to ex-husband Jason Hoppy, with whom she shares daughter Bryn Hoppy, 13.

Dubbed Just B Divorced with Bethenny Frankel, the series will mark the first time Frankel has told the story of what happened in depth. In a preview for the series published Thursday, April 12, the reality star said that she hadn't spoken about what happened from her perspective a few reasons.

"One was that I was on a gag order," explained Frankel. "[Another], I felt stifled by certain things that I had to sign at certain periods to get things done and to stop the bleeding, and I later felt fraudulent in not sharing certain experiences. I also felt conflicted because I felt like I have a daughter, and I don't want to put her at risk in any way emotionally. So I wanted to keep certain things private."

But Frankel said that she hopes her story can help others. "Being a woman who speaks out about things that happened that other women are going through is really important," she said. "Like, it used to be the only thing that kept me going during this divorce to say 'One day, I will hopefully get out of this and be able to help somebody else.' "

"The power struggle, the manipulation, there's so many things that go on." continued Frankel. "And ... I feel that there's a responsibility to tell the story of what the f--- went down."

She went on call divorce to an experience "worse" than death. "I experienced someone very close to me dying, and it was really horrific," said Frankel, whose ex-boyfriend Dennis Shields died in 2018 of a suspected overdose. "But nothing will ever be, in my entire life, as torturous as my divorce. ... It was by far the worst experience of my life."

"I thought I would never survive it," she continued. "I did not see a way out. It was suffocating. I thought I was gonna be miserable for the rest of my life. I thought I was gonna have a terrible life. I literally could not see out of it — and I, at the time that I could not see out of it, was a well-known, wealthy, powerful, successful, attractive, smart woman with a whole big career ahead of her. So imagine what a person who doesn't have all those things going for them goes through and feels like?"

Frankel and Hoppy, 53, initially had a whirlwind romance. After the RHONY star found out she was pregnant, they got married in a lavish televised wedding in 2010 and welcomed Bryn shortly after.

Things turned ugly, however, soon after. They announced their separation in December 2012 and filed for divorce in January 2013, with the pair being stuck in messy court proceedings and a years-long custody battle. They had reached a financial settlement in 2016, though their divorce wasn't finalized until January 2021.

A year later, Hoppy was arrested after she accused him of stalking and harassing her. She also claimed he taunted and harassed her during FaceTime calls she made to their daughter, and alleged he would send “abusive emails” where he “mocked” her and made her feel unwelcome at events he would throw for their child. Hoppy denied all allegations and agreed to a plea deal in the case. 

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On her podcast, Frankel insisted she wasn't going to "trash" Hoppy in the series "because it does no good." Said the reality star: "This is not an anger train. If I was so angry, it would have been years ago when I actually had the anger and was so helpless."

Still, she said the experience left her with "massive trust issues" and "post traumatic stress disorder," pointing to it as one of the reasons she doesn't want to marry fiancé Paul Bernon.

"I'm not sure if I would ever get married again or ever be legally bound to someone for anything other than a business contract," said Frankel. "It just is insane to me in many ways."

"I've been burned," she added. "I have been through a f---ing war, a war. I have questioned myself as a human, as a parent, because I was told so many times how terrible I was, and disgusting, and old, and irrelevant. ... had no power to get out of it. ... This was this was mental and emotional torture, what I went through. ... It was literally the most traumatizing thing that I will hopefully ever go through in my life." 

Just B Divorced with Bethenny Frankel is now streaming wherever podcasts can be found.