Barbara and Tim George warmly greeted dozens of couples who trickled into Renovation Church.
“Welcome back,” Barbara told a woman.
“Good to see you again,” Tim told the woman’s husband.
Every Thursday evening, the Georges host their year-round counseling series, Relationships Matter NWI, at the cozy and charming church, located between Valparaiso and South Haven. Their sessions explore all kinds of relationships, from married couples and parenting to widowed life and divorced life.
“We’re the best kept secret in Northwest Indiana,” Barbara told me.
From January to May, the couple explores the related topic of love and respect within a relationship.
“When a woman is feeling unloved, she acts out disrespectfully,” Barbara said.
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“When a man feels disrespected, he acts out in an unloving way,” Tim said.
“And it turns into a vicious cycle that can destroy any relationship,” Barbara explained.
“Relationships can get messy,” Tim added.
Each Thursday, more than 120 people from ages 18 to 85 attend the 90-minute session. It’s an impressive number on a weekday evening with so many other commitments for most couples and parents. (Watch a video of the couple in action at NWI.com.)
“We have things to do on Friday mornings just like everyone else so our sessions don’t run overtime,” Barbara said. “We need to wake up at 2:45 a.m. every day.”
The couple has been married for 47 years, and they share decades of experiences with younger couples. They readily admit they started out rocky in the early years and had to learn how to be who they are today. She was a “Jesus girl.” He was a “bar room boy.”
“It took us several years to find our stride,” Tim said modestly.
The Georges recently welcomed their first great-granddaughter.
“We are now in the season of watching our granddaughter be a parent,” Barbara said. “When you know you’ve laid down the groundwork for your children and grandchildren, it’s such a joy to watch the next generation, and then the next generation.”
The couple formerly worked in the youth ministry field for 20 years.
“But then we got exhausted,” Barbara said. “I think we aged out.”
Relationships Matter is a stand-alone nonprofit organization that uses the church as a meeting place. Children also show up on Thursday evenings to spend time together as their parents attend the sessions. Everything is free for families.
“It’s been a lifesaver for my marriage,” one participant told me. “Everything they tell us rings true.”
I met with the Georges before a session last month. Everything they said also resonated with me.
“All of our lives is about relationships,” Barbara said.
“It’s not always about being right or wrong. It’s about understanding our differences,” Tim said.
“If you’re speaking Spanish and I’m speaking French, we can communicate all day long but have nothing to share,” Barbara said.
“If you know your mate’s love language, you can fill their tank every day,” Tim said. “But if you’re filling it with diesel instead of gasoline, it’s not going to run properly.”
“We have helped hundreds of couples through challenges that all of us have experienced,” Barbara said as some of those couples took a seat inside the church. “Whatever it takes to straighten up the backbones of men and women so they can have healthier homes for themselves and their children.”
“They didn’t get to pick their mom or dad, so do not put those kids in the middle. They bare the scars of bad behaviors of their parents,” Barbara said.
Another session focuses on the “joy of the empty nest,” after children fly off to begin their adult lives.
“People say they’ll be so sad and lonely,” Barbara said. “I say, sit down, shut up and enjoy your relationship with your partner again. And don’t forget that a healthy sex life is part of a healthy relationship.”
“If God doesn’t make us love God, then God is not going to make a spouse love us. And he’s not going to make us love our spouse,” she added.
Barbara formerly served as a volunteer advocate for Porter County Veterans Court, bringing a small Bible to each hearing.
“We believe if we meet people at the front entrance of a courtroom and guide them through the process, we are miles ahead of making a safe, happy and healthier home for them,” she said.
When the couple first began hosting Relationships Matter at the church, Barbara sat on stage and Tim sat in the back row of the audience. It took him a while to become more vocal and visible.
“I can interject when I need to,” Tim said.
“We plan to start accepting speaking engagements,” Barbara said.
Both of them are easy going and open to any kind of discussion.
“We can’t leave couples the same as we found them,” she said. “We want them to become better, not bitter.”
“We believe that real leaders make more leaders, not more followers,” he said.
The couple’s long-term goal is to partnership with other churches in the Region to host similar sessions and conferences focusing on Relationships Matter.
“We want this to blow up in Northwest Indiana to make healthier families,” Barbara said.
For more info, call 219-307-2430, email icurblessed@gmail.com, or visit their Facebook page.
Contact Jerry at Jerry.Davich@nwi.com. Find him on Facebook and other socials. Opinions are those of the writer.