A mother who went viral on TikTok for asking guests at her daughter’s birthday to bring $5 for backyard renovations, instead of gifts, defends her actions.
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The mother of two, identified as Rachel Gibbs and who goes by @rachonlife on TikTok, went viral after revealing that she was opting against having guests gift her daughter Hazel with toys and such, and planning to ask for something that made much more sense for her family.
In addition to asking people to donate $5 to help remodel the family’s backyard, the mother also decided that for her second daughter’s Harry Potter-themed first birthday party, she would have the Saturday event begin at 9:30 a.m. and run for just an hour and a half. She noted that with her children napping from the late morning into the early afternoon, the timing just made sense.
Speaking with PEOPLE about her decisions and subsequent backlash, Gibbs explained, “I don’t want you at my house all day. I’m giving you your day. I do not expect you to sacrifice your entire Saturday for a child’s birthday party who’s not even gonna remember it. And the time? Please leave my house. My child needs to nap, and anybody who’s coming to a 1-year-old’s birthday party is already up at 9 30 a.m., or they can suck it up for one day because it’s over at 11. You have your entire day.”
She continued, “The birthday girl goes down for her nap at 11:00 a.m. and sleeps until around 1:30 p.m., and then our toddler takes his nap at 2 … and if he doesn’t nap? No thanks. I actually stole the early time idea from a friend of mine who had her son’s birthday at 9:30 a.m. All the kids were so pleasant, no naps were missed, and coffee and donuts were served.”
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Addressing her controversial decision to have guests bring $5 instead of gifts, the mother said, “I specifically, very clearly, put on the invitations ‘Please, do not bring gifts.’ And then I said, ‘If you feel inclined to bring something, consider $5 because we’re trying to remodel/redo our yard. Our backyard is a train wreck. Bring us five bucks to help us redo our backyard. That’s what we’re asking. But she does not need anything. I am very picky. I don’t want you to buy sh*t for my kids.”
Gibbs said she was very surprised by all of the backlash, with some social media users calling her “lazy” and “cheap.” In a video shared to her TikTok, she tearfully addressed the criticism. In her post, she said she would be “taking a little bit of a break from TikTok” after being called “the sh*ttiest mom on the planet” who “doesn’t love Hazel.”
The mother also shared a video on TikTok leveling with critics about her decision to have guests bring $5 for her backyard renovations, noting “$5 birthday parties” aren’t something new. She said, “This isn’t just a tacky thing I put on an invitation. I am requesting that our friends and family come to my daughter’s first birthday party and don’t bring any gifts because we truly do not need anything. We want to get this great playground and it’s going to take some work.” She believes that the concept, based in “southern hospitality, gets lost in translation with others who live and parent differently.
Gibbs told PEOPLE, “The ‘lazy’ comments I can’t be surprised by. I’m a full-time content creator, so I’m used to people always having an opinion. The ‘cheap’ comments surprised me. We wanted to have a party for our daughter but didn’t want to spend tons of money. We also didn’t want to obligate our friends into spending unnecessary money on toys, books, clothes or memberships … because our kids have everything they could ever need (they both have 529s too!).”
In the end, the mom of two just hopes that people realize “there’s no ‘right’ way to do anything when it comes to parenting. There’s no rule book, and at some point, none of us have ever done this before. Even a mom of six is a first-time mom to that oldest child. It’s clear to me that there’s a heavy load on parents’ shoulders to ‘get it right’ because everything is documented now.”
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