From the moment we come of age, we’re told that discipline is what makes a good life. You wake up early, you go to work, you eat healthily, you exercise when you can. So long as you avoid giving into cravings too much (sugar, caffeine, alcohol), and instead do things that will benefit you in the long term (running, meeting deadlines, sleep), you should be fine. But what if we’re approaching the “good life” in all the wrong ways? What if, and bear with me here, the good life can actually be achieved by listening to your body and doing whatever you feel like, whenever you feel like it?
Many of us have heard of intuitive eating, the anti-diet diet in which you’re supposed to eat when you’re hungry. But what about the lesser-known intuitive living, which is essentially the same concept, applied to… your entire life? As life coach Pandora Paloma writes in her book Intuitive Living, “We’re bombarded with so many messages that it’s causing a disconnect between us and what true health really is: a connection to our body’s innate wisdom.” What if, instead of being told what to crave, and what to restrict, we just did… what we felt? Yes, it sounds a little messy and unrealistic (I wanted to scream in the supermarket last week, that doesn’t mean I should have), but maybe it’s worth a try. Life is meant to be enjoyed, after all.
Obviously, intuitive living is easier for me to implement—a freelance writer who doesn’t have any children—than most. But in some ways, this was the thinking behind my decision to test it out—because I can right now. When I first considered experimenting with the idea, a month seemed too long; what if I completely fell off the wagon? A week felt more doable. So, the Friday before last, I commenced my journey of intuitive living as an experiment. The only rule was: there were no rules. I was to do what I felt, when I felt like it. And though I had to stick to a few work deadlines (I’m not fully unemployed, fortunately), everything else was up to me.
The first morning was easy. I didn’t set my alarm, and instead let my body wake up when it was ready to. Annoyingly, that was 7 a.m. Usually, I’d get up and make a coffee, maybe do some stretches, before embarking on what I “should” be doing (writing, replying to emails, tidying the house). But, as this was intuition week, I opened my phone and scrolled through TikTok instead. Puppy videos. Willem Dafoe fan cams. This is why me and my boyfriend really broke up. Constant, random clips that gave me a little dopamine hit with each swipe. After a while, though, I started feeling really groggy. An hour had passed, and I’d been curled up in the same position, my eyes burning whenever I closed them.
The rest of the day was sort of aimless. I ate beans and sausages on toast for breakfast, despite the fact that I’m supposed to be on a candida diet right now for my health. It was delicious. Super buttery. And I ignored the slightly churny feeling in my gut as I sunk into a hot bubble bath at half past one in the afternoon, a podcast about a scammer who created a fake cryptocurrency buzzing in the background. This is the life, I thought, as I yelled to my partner to please bring me a bag of sour cherry and apple candies so that I could put fistfuls of them into my mouth. I knew I probably had emails to respond to, but I didn’t feel like reading them. After getting out of the bath, I watched TikTok for another hour. And then Vanderpump Rules.
Saturday was much less deadening. My partner had surprised me with a bottomless drag brunch in Vauxhall, where a Britney impersonator “oh baby, baby-ed” her way through a selection of hits while I ate wagyu burger after wagyu burger. I figured this would be the perfect opportunity to flex my intuitive living muscles—and it was. Without the usual limits (read again: bottomless brunch), I had to rely on my own body’s stop button. Which, as it turned out, is a little rusty. After making my way through endless flutes of prosecco and consuming more fries than should be possible for a person of my 5’2” stature, I had to call it a night. So far, all intuitive living had given me was a bloated stomach and the desire to pass out.
By the time a new week rolled around, I’d come to the conclusion that I was doing intuitive living all wrong. I wasn’t, as Paloma had suggested, listening to my body’s “innate wisdom.” I was just being lazy and hedonistic. As the week went on, I tried to be more mindful of how I was spending my time. Was I actually hungry, or did I just think I should be? Did I really want to lay in bed, or was I craving some fresh air and nature? The first true test came on the Tuesday, when I was invited to a book launch of an acquaintance. Usually, I’d just go for the hell of it, enjoy the free drinks, and listen to a reading. This time, though, I checked in with my body. I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to make small talk and engage socially. So I went to the gym and stayed at home without a single regret.
As the days continued, I made a habit of listening, truly listening, to my body. On Wednesday, at a private view of an art exhibition, I told myself I should probably go home. It was 9 p.m., and I needed my beauty sleep. In the moment, though, I realized I didn’t want to. I wanted to stay and chat and eat little canapés and drink orange wine. So I stayed until nearly midnight, making conversation with people I’d never met, trying food I’d never tried before (tomato rhubarb dashi, black garlic oil), and soaking up the night in the way you might savor a particularly delicious meal. Oh, this is what’s meant by intuitive living, I realized as I drifted home in the warm spring night air, a sense of ease filling me up.
Intuitive living isn’t easy. It can be difficult to separate real desire from our ideas of desire, real cravings from a quick dopamine fix. And—of course—society isn’t built to accommodate the intuitive lifestyle. Most people are expected to work from nine to five, for example, even if they work better at night, or sporadically throughout the day. Others have children, and have to prioritize their needs and whims above their own. Doing what you want, when you want, isn’t realistic in a world that’s built around deadlines, a calendar, the pressure to make enough money to support yourself or a family.
Even so, by the end of my week-long experiment, I definitely felt a little closer to my body’s internal language. We so often say yes to things we don’t want to, and no to things we might enjoy, which can leave us feeling resentful and out of whack. Usually, by now, I’d have the week ahead of me planned out. This time, I decided to leave the calendar empty. What will I end up doing? Who knows. I’ll see what I feel like in the moment.