Helen’s Encounters: Causes and long-lasting effects of bullying

The GVR Forum Club on April 17 featured Gary Kidd, author of "Real Grit," an informative book about a mass shooting. Kidd spoke of a personal life-lasting struggle in coping with the effects of bullying.

Born in Utica, Michigan, his parents ran a dairy and vegetable farm. After his father sold off the cows, Gary worked on the farm. His mother was very meek, but his controlling father frequently compared Gary to his older, more successful brother. His small stature and wearing glasses made him a prime target of severe bullying, especially during 7th to 12th grades, where he endured hitting, spit in the face and shoved into lockers.

The lingering effects prompted him to research this topic for 10 years before writing "Real Grit" as his contribution to exposing the dramatic causes and effects of this hostile action.

Gary worked 35 years in health care before becoming a school bus driver in Scottsdale and, more recently, in Sahuarita before he quit last year. He witnessed bad behavior from children on the buses. Still, he seldom could pay full attention to what was happening because he had to remain focused on driving, and the high seats in newer buses blocked his view of the students.

He gave the statistic that 69% of students engage in bullying, and it occurs most often in middle school by hateful, mean comments.

A bully is a person of any age who seeks to harm, intimidate, physically or verbally assault anyone they deem weak or different. Gary described possible factors: the fractured family unit, the constant exposure and desensitization to violence both in the news, movies and internet and the inappropriate speech by role models like sports figures, politicians, Hollywood stars and parents.

He also spoke of the impacts social media has on the mental health of children and adolescents.

Texting has become the modern cocaine because it promotes less social interaction and can become addictive. Someone in the audience commented that he had received a photo of six family members around a Thanksgiving table, each looking down. They weren’t praying; they were texting each other.

The bully is often insecure and wants to dominate others to make themselves feel powerful. Feelings of depression can darken the lives of both the perpetrator and the victim, leading to immediate and lifelong mental health issues and self-destructive outcomes from that behavior, including substance abuse and suicide.

While we can talk about preventive measures, like education, advocacy and peer monitors, the enforcement part seems inadequate.

Bullying is a complicated issue to solve. It will take a culture change with accountability from parents, schools, the juvenile justice system, social media outlets and role models.