DEAR ABBY: A few years ago, my sister and I took our kids on vacation together. She and I get along but have never been close. Sometimes I walk on eggshells around her because I never know what might make her upset.
I thought we were having a good time on that vacation and getting along well, even though I was anxious. We were both taking pictures with our phones, and she handed me hers to forward myself some of the pictures. While I was looking at them, a text message pinged, and I checked it without thinking about it not being my phone.
It turns out my sister had spent the entire vacation texting about my “B.S.,” my inability to do anything competently and even referenced something that happened years before. I had noticed her constant texting but said nothing because I didn’t want to risk an argument.
I am still angry about this and don’t know how to let it go. I really don’t want to travel with her again, since I know the invisible third party will be with us the whole time. How do I deal with this? -- STAYING PUT IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR STAYING PUT: When you saw that message from your sister’s text partner you should have handed her the phone and started packing. You are not obligated to travel with someone who causes you to walk on eggshells, ignores you, puts you down and says nasty things behind your back. Don’t be mean about taking steps to protect yourself. Simply stop vacationing with her. (I know I sure would!)
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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