Hopefully you got that Ron Swanson is… not a conservative figurehead from watching Parks and Recreation. Take it from Nick Offerman who plays him. Anyway here are some Ron Swanson quotes. Extra applicable if you’re running with a Parks and Rec trivia team name. Try telling the host you know more than them. See how well that goes.
Ron Swanson Quotes
1. “I like saying no.”
It lowers their enthusiasm.
2. “On principle, I never say anything that another person is obviously trying to get me to say.”
This will be problematic if someone is trying to lead you to the answer.
3. “Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Don’t teach a man how to fish, and you feed yourself. He’s a grown man, fishing’s not that hard.”
Fishing might not be hard but there’s probably a sizable-enough contingent of people who just think… it’s too boring.
4. “Fish meat… is practically a vegetable.”
What was that about feeding someone for a day?
5. “Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have.”
“I think what you heard me say, was bring me a lot of bacon and eggs. What I mean is, bring me all the bacon and eggs you have.”
6. “There has never been a sadness that cannot be cured by breakfast food.”
7. “I am starving, I haven’t had lunch since yesterday.”
Had him at “meat-tornado.”
8. “The only type of witness I enjoy being is a hostile one.”
Answer all questions with questions.
9. “I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had.”
“We still never talk sometimes.”
10. “I live the way I live, I eat the things I eat, and I’ll die the way I’ll die.”
Just don’t make us eat the food our food eats.
11. “Right off the bat, we sell city hall.”
Make more money as a gas station.
12. “Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.”
We ran the numbers.
13. “There’s only one thing I hate more than lying. Skim milk.”
It’s water lying about being milk.
14. “No, I was not meditating. I just stood there, quietly breathing. There were no thoughts in my head whatsoever. My mind was blank.”
Okay.
15. “This is your dinner, his name is Tom.”
Have a permit.
16. “It’s always a good idea to demonstrate to your coworkers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain.”
Ow.
17. “But here I come, the government. And I get to take 40% of your lunch.”
Did you do your taxes? If you were wondering why doing your taxes is such a pain we have you covered.
18. “I know more than you.”
Trivia team names here, if you’re into Parks and Rec.
