A Few Things We Hope Lindsay Lohan Clears Up in Her Memoir
Lindsay Lohan is about to bring the literary world to its knees — well, maybe.
The star has sparked rumors that she would be penning a memoir when she posted a "teaser" video on Instagram. To be fair, the video raises more questions than it answers, though Lohan does seem to appear in it (briefly).
"#ciaofornow @lavishalice happy birthday," she wrote, adding, "teaser for my book FYI #karma."
Back in 2013, Lohan was reportedly in talks to write a tell-all, but it's unclear whatever happened to that or if this book is the same project. For what it's worth, Lavish Alice is a fashion brand that she has collaborated with in the past.
But while details are certainly murky, we can't help but fantasize about all of the stories about her wild days that she might clear up if she is, in fact, finally writing a bona fide book about her life. Should we be so lucky, here are the top questions we'd like her to answer in her tome.
If the pants she was wearing when cocaine was found in her pocket weren't hers, whose were they?
This is some vintage Lohan drama, people. Remember back in 2007, when Lindsay was caught in the midst of a high-speed car chase with her then-assistant and some of the assistant's friends? ICYMI, police then found cocaine in the pocket of the pants she was wearing — and she claimed they were not her pants.
"I am wearing a pair of borrowed jeans from a friend/assistant," Lindsay wrote in her statement after being booked. "She wore a pair of my jeans." This only begs the question: Who is this friend/assistant and why did this person decide to swap bottoms with Lohan? While we feel we already know the answer, we'd still like to watch her try to talk her way out of it again.
What really happened during that crazy limo ride with her mother?
More recently, Lohan and her mother, Dina, made headlines for becoming involved in a dispute while riding in a limousine. It was 2012 and they had been partying in Manhattan before getting a ride back to Chez Dina on Long Island. Along the way, they started bickering over a $40,000 loan daughter gave mother. It led to the actress calling her father, Dina's ex, and telling him, "Dad, she’s on cocaine," according to a recording Michael Lohan supplied to TMZ. For his part, Michael also called the police, so they showed up at Dina's door when the women arrived. Police categorized it as a "domestic dispute," but no charges were filed. Lohan later told Oprah that she made up the whole Dina-cocaine story, but we have to wonder: Did she really?
Did she really think she could get away with stealing that fur coat?
Lindsay Lohan brings a whole new meaning to the term coat check. In 2008, the star apparently walked out of a private birthday party for Greek playboy Stavros Niarchos wearing an $11,000 blond mink coat — the only problem? It wasn't hers. The pricey fashion statement belonged to Masha Markova, who discovered Lohan had the coat when she saw a photo of the star in a magazine wearing it! Though Lohan apparently returned the coat, we can't help but wonder, what was she thinking?
Was her passport really stolen?
Lohan's legal woes were in full swing by the time 2010 rolled around — and they didn't get any better when she missed a court date in Beverly Hills because she was "trapped" in France. According to her lawyer (at the time), the star had been out of the U.S. attending the Cannes Film Festival, but had every intention of returning to California in time to appear before the judge. The trouble? According to Lohan, when she arrived at the airport to fly home, she discovered she did not have her passport and was not allowed to board the plane. Her father called this tale "another lie" and Lohan blasted back by accusing him of organizing the theft. Something about all of this just doesn't quite add up, so we'd love if she set the record straight.
Did she really "forget" to return that necklace?
Back in 2011, the Mean Girls star was in hot water for allegedly stealing a necklace from a Los Angeles jewelry store. At the time, the store owner argued that Lohan tried on several pieces (and even tried to negotiate to pay $3,000 cash for a ring priced at $3,600) before waltzing out of the store with the necklace still on. Though there were inconsistencies in the shop owner's account, it was still a little hard to believe Lohan's defense, which was that the necklace was "on loan" to her, but a stylist "forgot" to return it.
Who was her baby daddy when she was pregnant while filming her docu-series?
During the final episode of her show on OWN, she revealed that she had suffered a devastating loss during the taping. "No one knows this," she cooed to the camera. "I had a miscarriage for those two weeks that I took off." She went on to argue, "It's a very long story, but that's why on the show when it says she doesn't want to come down, I couldn't move, I was sick. Mentally, that messes with you." Yet she failed to identify the father of the unborn child. We think a tell-all book would be the perfect opportunity to bring that information to light.
This is just the short list (because there are so many other things we want to know), but Lindsay, please… write this book!
