“Speedy,” now 28, was born in Central Islip, and joined MS-13 when he was 16. He refused to be identified by his real name or even his old underworld moniker. Even though it’s been nearly seven years since he left the group, he still fears reprisals. He tells his story for the first time, to The Post’s Isabel Vincent.
It happened in a park at night. Three gang members kicked and punched me all over my body — my arms, my back, my stomach, my hands, even my groin. Nothing was off-limits to them. They beat me for exactly 13 seconds, while one of the gang members kept time in the background, counting slowly.
I was 16 and had just been initiated into the most powerful gang, MS-13. I gritted my teeth so I didn’t scream out in pain while they beat me. Moments later, I was in so much pain I could barely stand up. But eventually I grew to enjoy beating others.
Hurting others made me feel invincible, like nothing is against you. If you have sadness inside you, it makes you happy.
The gang knows your weak spot. They understand you. They hear you. When they find your weakness, they go all the way in.
I was pretty weak when I first met them. I was also pretty much alone.
My family came from Guatemala, and I lost my mother to cancer when I was 6. My father died of cancer when I was 14 going on 15. My younger sisters — they were 10 and 14 at the time — were put in foster homes. I barely saw them. I lived with uncles and aunts. I was back and forth between their houses and after a while, I just really wanted to be alone. That’s when MS-13 said, “Come join us.”
If a gang member was interested in a girl he saw, he would rape her and claim her as property.
I knew who they were. They approached me at school. They knew my parents were dead, and they started to hang out with me and made me feel good. They would hang out with you, smoking, drinking. They would get you girls, anything you wanted.
Before MS-13, I belonged to a clique called Latinos For Life. We started it in middle school and we got so big that the MS-13 guys said we had to join them or be against them.
I actually wanted to join because I felt that I would have more power in MS-13. Nobody could hurt me if I was one of them. We used violence to send a message, to make it known that we were in control, to tell you not to step on our turf.
Stabbing others became something very normal for me. So did shaking people down. At the beginning I felt bad but then I got comfortable with my emotions.
We knew when people who worked in the vineyards or farms would get their paychecks and we went after their cash. They usually got paid on a Friday, and I got really good at sticking a knife in their back or pointing a gun if they were in their car at a stop sign.
If there was a party going on somewhere, we would crash it. We would bring our machetes, sometimes guns and take everyone’s money. It was always about getting the money. But we’d also take their food, their drinks. And if anyone ever looked at us the wrong way, we’d beat them up.
If people owed us money, 20 to 30 guys would go to their house and we would break down their door. I can’t tell you how many times I participated in something like this. We’d go in and whoever was at home would take a beating. If the person in question wasn’t there, we would beat up their family. It didn’t matter if they had children. We would beat them too.
The gang has their own detectives, so if you don’t cooperate, they will find and kill your family in El Salvador, or Honduras or any other place. Or they will rape your daughters, girlfriends, sisters.
If a father doesn’t want to cooperate with us, they will do something to his daughter. I never raped anyone, but others did. If a gang member was interested in a girl he saw, he would rape her and claim her as property.
We had a very closely knit group of about 50 guys. We treated each other as men, and we would walk together for protection. We functioned like a tight paramilitary organization. If any one of us ever felt that we were in danger from another gang, such as the Bloods, help was only a phone call away. It was a great feeling to be so protected.
Sometimes when we wanted to find out if people were snitching on us we would summon the devil. The devil for us was a symbol of protection. We used a Ouija board to call him. Once, the devil took over my body. I went into a crazy state. I didn’t know what was happening and it took 10 members of the gang to hold me down. In a trance, some gang members would give up names of people to target. It was a loyalty test, and we called it “taking a soul.” If the devil gave you a name, you had to go out and mess that person up. You had to take their soul.
I never killed anyone. I stole drugs. I shook people down for cash. I stabbed people and I shoved a guy through a glass door once. It was self-defense, but I still went to jail at different times for assault, burglary and grand larceny.
The first time I was in, I had just turned 18. In jail, the cops would always tell you who snitched on you. They did it on purpose because they knew that MS-13 would always kill the snitch. That way the gang members just went after each other, and the police wouldn’t get involved. I had the opportunity to take care of those who snitched on me, but I didn’t want to. I never got to the point where I wanted to kill anyone.
After about five years in the gang, I just decided I wanted to leave. I was 21. The leaders said “no.” They said I had too much information. I left anyway, and they shot up my house. Luckily no one was around. That’s when I went to a different place. I had to leave Central Islip to get my life back.
That was seven years ago. I’m 28, and I go to church now. I have a son. I’ve completely changed my life, and I want to be a good father.
I’m back in Central Islip but I’m not scared of running into gang members. I look completely different now. No one recognizes me because I wear different clothes and I have lost a lot of weight. My gang tattoos are always covered under a long-sleeve shirt.
And most of the guys whom I hung out with in the gang are either dead or in jail.
Now I really want to get an education. And I want to help kids get out of the gangs. A lot of kids don’t want to be part of gangs, but once they get in, it’s hard to get out. I want to help them find a different life.
MS-13 is a virus. And like every virus, you have to figure out where it comes from and you have to kill it.