From the top floor of Cheers and Jeers MONDAY World Headquarters, in the true-blue state of Illinois.....
I'm moving a little slow this morning because I had a busy night. Among other things, I had a Lhasa Apso with an eye proptosis. While Lhasa eyes sort of bug out naturally, this one had actually popped out of the socket!
I had never replaced an eyeball before, but I managed to put this one back, and it went just like my surgery textbook said it would!
As I've written before, there are moments when I love my work.
So no fancy opener today. Just the snark, ma'am!
Cheers and Jeers MONDAY starts in the extended copy section.... (Swoosh!).....Right NOW! (Gong!)
DISCLAIMER: AAbshier's Cheers and Jeers are not affiliated in any way, shape, or form, with Bill in Portland Maine's Cheers and Jeers. The use of the words JEERS and CHEERS , the swoosh/gong device, pie references, lusty wenches, insults to Armando Big Tent Democrat, mattress references, whomps, moist, and flicked peas are all used with permission of Bill in Portland Maine and the members of the C&J Café community. Any further resemblances to BiPM`s Cheers and Jeers are deliberately coincidental. So there.
Doc's Bad Joke of the Week:
(In the gray box so you can avoid it and not miss anything else)
(This is actually olvlzl's bad joke of last week, seen on Echidne of the Snakes. But I'm never one to not shamelessly steal borrow material.)
A man was walking down the sidewalk and heard a sound . Thump, thump, thump...
He turned and saw a coffin bouncing behind him, coming closer. He crossed the street and the coffin followed him, thump, thump.... He ran and the coffin came faster. He got to his house, ran in and slammed the door. The coffin started pounding against the door, it began to give way. The man ran up the stairs as the coffin broke through and, not missing a beat it followed him. He ran to the room with the strongest lock, the bathroom. He locked the door but the coffin started pounding against it, the door gave way. The man reached for the nearest thing, a huge bottle of Robitussin, threw it at the coffin and the coffin stopped.
Cheers to nice guys finishing first. Head Coach Tony Dungy led the Baltimore Indianapolis Colts to the NFL championship yesterday. He was practically revered in Tampa not just for his turnaround of the Buccanneers, but for his great involvement in the community. A Jeer within the cheer, though, for his upcoming appearance at a dinner to be hosted by the decidedly Dobson-like Indiana Family Institute.
Cheers to raising a flap. Or FLAP, in this case: the Florida League Against "Progress", which has been working to slow down development and rampant tourism that is rapidly eating away at the old Florida. Aside from publishing their web page, they also have fine products--OK, product--to sell. I wish I had this one when I lived in Sarasota! (h/t Flablog)
Cheers to primary challengers--for 2010. It seems that Mel "Cellophane Man" Martinez (R-FL, or end of Rove's string) has drawn a challenger for his re-election campaign. As a double bonus, Dave Roberts, his erstwhile challenger, has immigration as his main issue, so he seems to be taking a page from the Tom Tancredo playbook! It is a little early to stock up on popcorn, but save the leftovers from 2008.
(ASIDE: Hey, Katherine Harris, would it be too much to ask for you to get in the race too? Lord knows we may need the entertainment then.)
Cheers to the beginning of Mardi Gras season in New Orleans. The first parade to roll featured the Krewe de Vieux, which pokes very sharp fun at public officials reviled by New Orleans residents. (Favorite float, albeit from 2006: the one that reads, "Buy us Back, Chirac!").
Jeers to over the top silliness. Last week author J.K. Rowling announced the publishing date for the last of the Harry Potter series of novels, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. But since two of the lead characters allegedly die in this last installment, a British bookstore will be setting up a helpline to assist distraught readers.
Jeers to Japanese Health Minister Hakuo Yanagisawa , who referred to women as "birth giving machines". (Has Dobson been sending him mail?) No word on if Yanagisawa-san commiserated with Joe Biden after the inevitable furor erupted.
Jeers to the dumb tenant of the week. It's been very cold here in the Alton area, and for those in trailers, keeping pipes from freezing has been a challenge. Right on schedule, some knucklehead decided it was a great idea to thaw his pipes using a propane torch. (yes, it's been done before).
Jeers to one of the 20%. In this emetic to the editor of the Alton Telegraph, Leola Olney of the nearby town of Godfrey opens with this:
Thank God for our president, who, with the calm eloquence that marks those few remaining statesmen, resolutely affirmed in his State of the Union speech that which he believes to be the core purpose of his life: to keep America as secure as possible from more virulent attacks than even that of 9/11, and to help a brutally oppressed Iraqi people know "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness."
There's lots more where this came from. If you dare.
Cheers to wedding day portraits:
The rest of our little wedding album can be found here. Nancy is also a good Democrat and a registered Kossack (though she hasn't posted anything yet), which just proves that female beauty has a liberal bias!
Floor's open! What do you have to Cheer and Jeer about today?