UPDATED True Blood Season 5 Finale Recap: Tales From the Dark Side
Those of you who haven’t seen Sunday’s True Blood season finale yet will probably want to heed this big-ass SPOILER ALERT! and revisit this story after you have. And we repeat: If you have not seen the TB finale, hit the nearest exit. The rest of you, here goes…
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A LIL GOES A LONG WAY | Apparently, those of us who were sure Evil Bill was eventually going to revert to being Good Bill (and maybe even reveal that his turn as Evil Bill had all been part of some master plan to save humankind) were wrong. (Go ahead and say it: Dead wrong.) By the time he’d deceived, shagged, silver-poisoned and staked Salome, not even Sookie could talk him down from the religious high he was on. Frothing at the mouth, he quoted the fangers bible and called his ex “an abomination,” then drank every last drop of Lilith. This killed him instantly, reducing him to a puddle of blood, but he just as instantly rose from that puddle as the new Lilith, beet red and naked as a jaybird. Ruh-roh!
LIGHTS OUT | The episode opened with a pick-up of Russell and Steve’s attack on the fairies. Though Russell was hardly fazed when Sookie and the club kids flashed their glow-stick fingers at him en masse, a stake to the heart courtesy of Eric stopped him in his tracks and sent Steve running. (Dare we hope that the glow Russell emitted before going splat was a hint that he’d absorbed so much fairy light that he’ll henceforth exist in their dimension or… something?)
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DUMB & DUMBER | Remember last episode when Jason went flying into that tree? This week, it became apparent that the blow to his head had brain-damaged him. (Or brain-damaged him further. Jason was never all that big on the thinking to begin with.) Egged on by visions of the late Ma and Pa Stackhouse, he awoke determined to kill as many vamps as possible – which made his and Sookie’s team-up with Eric, Tara and Nora to rescue Jessica, Pam and Bill awkward from the onset. And it only got worse from there…
A THIN LINE BETWEEN LOVE & HATE | When Jessica saw that Jason was among the cavalry, she proclaimed her love for him. To which he responded that he could never love a fanger. (Oh, Jason… !) On the other hand, when Tara opened Pam’s cell, they shared a kiss that could’ve set off the Authority’s fire alarms.
TAKING HOLD OF OUR CENSUS | After Rikki nearly OD’d on the V that she was force-fed by JD, Alcide took on the packmaster again – this time doped up himself – and killed him. (Obviously, making JD wear the Cone of Shame for awhile wouldn’t have been punishment enough.) Meanwhile, Luna shifted into Steve to sneak Emma out of Authority HQ but instead was thrown into a TV interview by Barb from Cougar Town. When Luna changed back into herself mid-Q&A, Sam – in fly form – flew into Barb’s mouth, then shifted back into human form, utterly destroying her. (For sure, the season’s wildest demise.) But, just because Sam had saved Luna from Barb didn’t mean that Luna was saved: She then collapsed from the strain of turning into Steve. Finally, Andy had no sooner confessed to Holly that he’d cheated on her with Maurella than his girlfriend was forced to help deliver his mistress’ one, two, three, four babies… which she left with their daddy to raise.
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So, what did you think of the season finale — and the season as a whole? Of Evil Bill? Are you looking forward to a maker/progeny romance for Pam and Tara? Into the idea of Jason the Vampire Hunter? Thinking Sookie will gravitate back toward Eric? The comments section below awaits your… you know, comments.
wtf just happened.
My thoughts exactly!
haha that is exactly what i just said
wtf! i have so many emotions right now!
Tonight’s finale made up for all previous seasons. This was the COOLEST hour of TV I have seen in a long time..
I feel the same way, can’t wait for season 6 : )
Same here! My actual words at the end of the last scene were, “Holy f–ing s–! What the HELL?”
I feel like this entire season was just about trying to find a way to make Bill as powerful as Eric. They’ve always had a rivalry and now that this Authority stuff is almost over, they will probably go back to it. But before it was just so one-sided because Eric could basically take out Bill in a split second because of his age. I’m sure next season they’ll find a way to get through to Bill, he will become himself again, will probably end up with Sookie again, at least for a little while. Only this time he will probably have the “residual effect” from drinking the blood that he will be as strong as Eric, if not stronger.
Wow. Um… wow…
Agreed. I’m still processing who’s alive and who’s dead. But this episode made crystal clear what I’ve been missing all season: Eric and Pam. Eric being Eric, not Eric pretending to be a religious zealot. So as long as next year we get a season with the Viking free from amnesia or cult influences, I’ll be a happy girl. And as long as Tara doesn’t ruin Pam.
How would Tara ruin Pam? I can’t wait to hear this one.
I think Willa might mean they hope Tara doesn’t turn Pam all soppy and loved-up, and further away from Eric.
Wow is EXACTLY what I said and was thinking. I couldn’t believe Bill changed as he did. My boyfriend and I are now calling him “Billith” :-D
That was some fantastically crazy stuff.
Agreed. That’s some serious awesome finale.
I totally love Sam/Luna storyline, and how awesome is ‘Samlith’ scene?
And goodbye Russell! Rosalyn! Salome! Tons of Authority guards! Chatty Receptionist! Won’t miss you guys!!!
And with Luna shifting live, will shifters finally be known to public? Will there be any repercussions?
Excited for next season!
I could have done without the extended Sam/Luna stuff, but the Bill stuff was amazing.
Predictable AND hot. And why didn’t they show us steven moyer’s junk? Also, why is that my first thought?
Ha ha! That was my first thoughts as he rose from the blood!
i think Lilith ike wanted to free herself so she tricks the idiot Bill to drink the blood.
ME TOO! I wanted to see what Bill has down there. So tired of seeing Lillith’s fluffy bush. EWW!
They never show the men yet they don’t have a problem with the women. It’s BS.
we actually did once see half of a dude’s junk when all the vampires right after Ronan died started feeding they fed on this man taped to the table and u could see his junk y’know.
Damn straight. No one wants to see that. :P Was an amazing season finale though. Didn’t much care for how easily Russell died but then again I guess that is about the only way of killing him aside from drinking every last drop of lilliths blood and ripping him in half. Jessica needs to force feed Jason some of her blood so that he will stop being so f*cktarded. :3
No shame here, it was mine too!
I have to admit that in an entirely heterosexual way, that was my first thought, too.
Pam/Tara. Surprising, no. Hot? Yes.
WTF? That was terrible!
My thoughts exactly . . . usually the seasons end with some sort of finality and resolution, but yet still leave you wanting more. The Warlo storyline is still open, the Evil Bill storyline is still open, Luna didn’t escape sucessfully with her daughter, Alcide is doped up . . . WTF!
That’s why they are called”cliffhanger” endings
That’s not even close to true. Last season’s finale left us with Tara’s head blown off, new vampire Steve showing up on Jason’s doorstep, Scott Foley showing up to warn Terry about something AND the discovery of Russell’s escape. The season before, Sookie was “kidnapped” by the faeries, Bill put a hit out on Sophie-Ann, Lafayette was having visions and Tara drove off to parts unknown. The season before that Bill was kidnapped while Sookie was debating his marriage proposal, Jason ran away and Alcide started his quest to find his birth parents. And the first season had Jason joining the anti-vamp group, Sam starting his feud with Maryann, Sam putting together a big stash of cash, Andy finds a dead body in his trunk and Lafayette is the one running away! The seasons NEVER end with finality and resolution. That episode has always been used to set up storylines for next season, including this one. Though this one may be the first that didn’t include somebody running away and hiding from the residents of Bon Temps!
i think you mean Sam started his quest to find his birth parents…?
Pam/Tara kiss was predictable and not hot. Can’t believe Bill is the new bad but it works bc we all want Sookie to be with Eric or Alcide.
Ugh. I don’t think taking your most awesome character, Pam, and pairing her with your most annoying, aggravating character, Tara, is a good thing, at all. However, I hope to see the rest of the Godric-clan for many episodes to come- Eric and his ladies, with the exception of the granddaughter, are hilarious.
No way! Tara has always been one of my favourites. LOVE Rutina! At first I wasn’t thrilled by her turning, but this romance with Pam makes total sense. As with every love interest on this show, it will lead to some major conflicts and/or character transformations. Remember, happy love is boring! Two of the series’ feistiest characters paired up? Let the fireworks begin!!
If you really want to be confused, read all the books..in them Tara is white, and has almost no real role to play.
Not hot to you but to lots of people who knew that is were the writers were going. I loved it and so do many people.
People with horrible taste.
Actually, i wanted Sookie back with Bill. I love their romance. BUT, I think Alcide is the better choice in the long run. He’s ALIVE and he’s a HUNK and he’s a honorable and kindly, hard working guy with a business.
Billith?
Billith!!!! Hahahaha
Eric and sookie should bang on his bloody billith body.
Lmao!! I was thinking the same thing. Here comes Billith!
Hahaha!
Dumb. Eric shoulda just killed Bill, or hopefully Jason will. He’s beyond saving, he’s totally lost it. And what ever happened with that Warlo storyline? They introduced it like it was going to be a big story, then it wasn’t mentioned again. The Luna storyline, I couldn’t care less about. Pam and Tara, I’m NOT into it. I just like them as pals.
the four new fairy babies will be a huge part of the Warlo story line. Remember Spookie is losing her light. They must need a half breed for something.
They are certainly going to be tempting snacks, but I think Sookie having been sold to Warlo (Warlow? sp?) is more important than just any hybrid. Clearly that one chick has pupped 73 times, so there’s not a shortage.
Go to hbogo.com and sign in with your cable information. There’s an extra scene about that. It’s not forgotten.
well now eric better hope bill doesn’t kill him haha. With liliths blood bill is probably the most powerful vampire alive in the show.
wait. where’s warlow?
I think that Warlow is going to find away out of hiding to get Sookie. He may be the strongest Vampir .That can kill the new Bill. Or the fairies, wolves, humans, and mediums will all have to team up together to stop him. I can’t wait to see season 6.
I think I quit. That was ridiculous.
Um, because nothing else on the show was too ridiculous for you in the past? That’s always been the point of the show. I love it to bits, but it’s cuckoonuts. Always has been, and hopefully always will be.
Tara and Pam Predictable though Hot an I swear I really don’t want Luna to die I hope not in OMG bill is just getting on my nerves now like NEXT Storyline PLEASE lolly
Wow everything about this was really great. Only thing that seemed not too important was Sam and Luna but besides that everything was awesome. And I guess me being a big wolf guy loved the scene where alcide becomes the alpha.
That was bananas! I can’t wait till next season.
Pam & Tara are gross. Bill is stupid. This used to be my favorite guilty pleasure and now it’s too ridiculous to watch any more.
you’re too ridiculous to watch anymore. pam and tara are hysterically adorable, and jason is by far more stupid than bill could ever be.
Two women are gross? What about two men? Or is it an interracial kiss that so grosses your small mind out?
@ohlala @Bob i have no problem with gay or interracial relationships. Tara and Pam have no chemistry, outside of trading smart-a## comments. if you saw the bonus scene with them in the elevator, their flirting was leaden.
I thought TB couldn’t get crazier. I was wrong. Tonight was ridiculous, terrible, dumb… and still, I laughed a lot and loved it. Too bad for every time I laughed/enjoyed the show this season, there was 30 cringe-worthy moments. Jumped the shark, goodbye!
(And I honestly hope Kristin Bauer gets the F away from that show so she can be somewhere worthy of her awesomeness!)
Billith? Lame. Should’ve just killed him off… It doesn’t even make sense, like at all.
Tara/Pan- no thanks. Not feeling that one bit. It’s more interesting to see their relationship evolve as more mother daughter.
Nora is still alive? That’s a shocker.
Overall, not great. Peace out Ballsack! Don’t show your face around the set next season.
Holy crap I straight up started beating up my couch! That was just mean!!
Also, I vote for Andy as the MVP this season. He has great comic timing.
this ^^ best reaction of the night
Wow. Sooo, that’s the last time I underestimate a fly, or look at childbirth the same. Haha. Crazy episode. Looks like no more good guy Bill, but I’m ready for Quinn anyways.
OMG yes Quinn!!!! I so hope they introduce him on the show
That sucked no closure this season like.
in the past we have always had an ending to the main
“bad” guys but now its billith. this. sucks. fu
Bitches u a bat nigga
If you would have sticked around after the credits, there was another scene that mentioned Warlo.
There was? Thanks for the info. I’ll watch the replay online
Almost cry when I saw Bill dead, but later when I saw him resurrected him I thought.. WTF
Bill should die, and Eric and Sookie could spend together the next season. My favorite moment was on Merlotte’s, the fairy babies. I love Pam and Tara together. I hate Jessica fallli’ in love with Jason, Hoyt and her were a great and interesting couple. Next Season the romance must be back on the show, this year was madness, religion and politics, just like our crazy reality. This was the last episode written by Alan Ball, he won’t return as showrunner next season. I hope the quality of the show keeps with sex, blood and rock and roll, but I hope the romance from season 1 and 2 should be back
I totally agree, I love hoyt and jessica! I also love bill and sookie and cried when I thought he died. I read online that jim parrack who plays hoyt will not be returning, and that the new writer wants things to mimick the books, so bill will not be in sookies life :(
If season six isnt any good, im throwing the towel in. you can only corrupt your main characters so much before you lose viewers/fans.
I did enjoy seeing Jane Boathouse again. She is always hilarious.
Total bloodbath which was awesome. Im just not sure whats going to happen with Bill. Love everything else. Kiss with Pam and Tara was predictable but good. Loved Lafayette as usual. Liked Andy and the babies. Worried about Luna and Jason. Love Alcide.