AUSTIN (KXAN) — “Your cancer is terminal.” 

They’re four words that cause a family to go from fighting mode to making the most of the time you have left. That was the reality for Austin realtor Jocelyn Johnson.

She met her husband Mark in 2010 after they were introduced by friends.

“We actually lived three blocks away from each other and started dating,” said Johnson. “We just jumped into this very intense love affair and just had so much in common, so many friends in common.”

They each brought a daughter to the marriage, and were getting the hang of being one big happy family. But two and a half years after Jocelyn and Mark said “I do” he began to lose his voice.

“He was also traveling a lot and speaking a lot so I just kind of attributed a lot of it to the fact that he was exhausted,” said Johnson.

A few months later a doctor found something on his vocal chord which turned out to be malignant. Mark eventually ended up at the MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston where doctors discovered aggressive cancer cells wrapped around the back of his vocal chords. His voice box had to be removed.

“It was hard to think he was gonna lose his voice forever,” said Johnson while trying to hold back tears.

Mark also lost his ability to eat and swallow, and after all that the cancer came back. Doctors told them there was nothing else they could do except keep him comfortable.

At the age of 46, doctors gave Mark nine months to a year to live.

“We got home and we called Hospice Austin, and never did I think they were going to sit here in this living room and talk to me,” said Johnson. “My girls were strong and we locked arms and we did what we needed to do — but it was a dark day.”

Jocelyn was 42 at the time, and faced with planning her husband’s final days.

“I’m thinking hospital beds and machines and all that, but what I didn’t know is this wonderful team of people started showing up.”

Hospice Austin’s Director of Bereavement and Volunteer Services, Nancy McCranie, says data shows the journey of grief is easiest when hospice comes in as soon as possible and starts providing support.

“Then the family is able to relax a little bit and not have to be the only nurse, the only social worker because you’re playing so many roles that are exhausting, all consuming when your loved one is dying,” said McCranie.

Mark’s nurse Paula became like family.

“Anytime Paula came into the room he just lit up like a Christmas tree,” said Johnson. “I’m not kidding you it was the cutest thing, he loved her.”

Paula also played a vital role in carrying out one of Mark’s last wishes, and encouraging the family that it could be done despite his condition. She accompanied the entire family on a trip to Boston so he could show his daughter Sophie where she was born. 

Mark passed away several months earlier than expected. He died just shy of his fourth wedding anniversary, but was still enjoying life right up until the end. 

The day before he died Jocelyn found him in bed with the iPad dancing and singing along to Gospel music, which he loved. His energy level was surprising to his family and caretakers.

Mark’s family always tries to live and make decisions based on two words he used in his own life.

“He told the girls that carpe diem was just something he wanted them to always remember and live with and seize the day.”

November is National Hospice & Palliative Care Month

Have you lost someone dear to you and you are dreading the holiday season? Hospice Austin is hosting a free panel discussion called “Surviving the Holidays.” It will be held on Nov. 15 from 7 – 9 p.m. at Westover Hills Church at 8332 Mesa Dr., Austin, TX 78759.